The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Cornhusker Vortex (2009)

Kunal Nayyar: Raj Koothrappali

Photos 

Quotes 

• Howard Wolowitz : [Howard and Raj are arguing]  At least I can talk to women without being drunk!

  Rajesh Koothrappali : Excuse me, I have selective mutism, a recognized medical disorder. You're just a douche!

• Howard Wolowitz : [about a girl he thought smiled at him]  I totally had a shot!

  Rajesh Koothrappali : With a woman you were chasing through a park. That's not a shot; that's a felony.

• Howard Wolowitz : I brought you a little gift. New kite!

  Rajesh Koothrappali : [scoffs]  The kite you made me lose was an authentic Patang. An Indian fighting kite that my brother sent to me from New Delhi. It took me a day to put together and two days to paint. This is Hello Kitty.

  Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, but it comes with a little coin purse. Does a Patang?

• Leonard Hofstadter : [Leonard is trying to learn about football]  Okay, a completed pass: first down, New England. I think I'm starting to get this.

  Rajesh Koothrappali : Really? The only thing I've learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often, and have trouble getting erections.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.

  Rajesh Koothrappali : I'm just saying maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.

• Howard Wolowitz : I would've caught up to her if I hadn't pulled a hammy.

  Rajesh Koothrappali : Oh, please. You weigh 80 pounds. You don't have a hammy.

• [last lines] 

  Rajesh Koothrappali : What a douche!

• Leonard Hofstadter : Well, this sucks.

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry, I got bored and drifted off. Where exactly in the interaction did the sucking lie?

  Rajesh Koothrappali : Leonard just realized that Penny's been hiding him from her friends because he's a tiny little man who flies kites.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, that certainly would suck.

• Rajesh Koothrappali : Sheldon, I don't suppose there's any chance you could give me kite back?

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry, Raj, but the rules of aerial warfare dictate that the fallen kite go to the victor, and without rules the competition has no meaning. And without meaning, the following would be an empty gesture: I have your kite! I have your kite!

• [first lines] 

  Howard Wolowitz , Leonard Hofstadter , Rajesh Koothrappali : Kites ho! Kites ho! Kites ho!

  Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me. You're misusing the word "ho". It's an interjection used to call attention to a destination, not an object. As in, uh, "land ho!" or, uh, "westward ho!"

  Howard Wolowitz , Leonard Hofstadter , Rajesh Koothrappali : [after a beat]  Kites ho!