- Jim Halpert: [to Michael] Do you want to talk in your office?
- Angela Martin: No.
- Jim Halpert: I didn't ask you!
- Michael Scott: [Deleted scene. Kids see Michael pretending to hang from a noose] Kids, just remember. Suicide is never the answer. All right?
- [in talking head]
- Michael Scott: Why is Christmas the only holiday that can have a message?
- [to kids]
- Michael Scott: It is the easy way out. You are not alone.
- Darryl Philbin: What the hell is wrong with you?
- Michael Scott: [beat] Who wants candy?
- Michael Scott: Okay, this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots that had put a fish tank in the ground with no cover and no railing.
- Angela Martin: So you fell in.
- Michael Scott: No! Maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
- Angela Martin: So a child had fallen in?
- Michael Scott: Not yet!
- Pam Beesly: You blew the sale, you idiot!
- Andy Bernard: Let me tell you something, I was never gonna make that sale.
- Michael Scott: I also have fallen into the fountain at the Steamtown mall.
- Toby Flenderson: You fell into a second fountain?
- [trying to suppress laughter]
- Toby Flenderson: Can you kick me out of the meeting now?
- Erin Hannon: David Wallace called.
- Michael Scott: Oh, he did? What did he say?
- Erin Hannon: He heard you made a big splash at the meeting.
- Meredith Palmer: Hey, who wants to watch Michael's pond dive? My roommate's friend is the night janitor over there. He swiped the security tape for me and he's bringing it over.
- Jim Halpert: Hmm, you know what? Maybe you should go easy on Michael, guys. You know, you watch that tape and you're gonna have to stay late for more sensitivity training. So...
- Kevin Malone: We'll stay late.