Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 5 - Rise of the Pirate God (2009 Video Game)

Andrew Chaikin: Bugeye, Pirate Ted the Swordfighter

Quotes 

• Guybrush Threepwood : [trying to guess how Bugeye escaped the giant manatee]  You ignited the gasses in the stomach which resulted in a catastrophic explosion destroying everything within a twenty-five mile radius?

  Bugeye : And yet, here I am, without a scratch on me!

  Guybrush Threepwood : So was I right?

  Bugeye : You're an idiot.

• Guybrush Threepwood : What ever happened to that locket DeCava had?

  Bugeye : Probably at the bottom of the ocean with the rest of... well, it's at the bottom of the ocean.

• Guybrush Threepwood : [trying to guess how Bugeye escaped the giant manatee]  You dressed up like a throat grub and snuck out through the blow hole!

  Bugeye : Manatees don't have blow holes! Plus, that's really stupid. Now leave me alone.

• Guybrush Threepwood : Pardon me, mind if I borrow this?

  [Pulls out the sword from Ted's head] 

  Pirate Ted the Swordfighter : Hey! LeChuck stuck that in me for a reason, you know.

  Guybrush Threepwood : LeChuck?

  Pirate Ted the Swordfighter : Aye, he came back after me and me mates stole some gold turtle from him. He chopped off me head and asked and asked me to hold that for him.

  Guybrush Threepwood : [Doubtful]  ... In your decapitated head?

  Pirate Ted the Swordfighter : Yeah...

  [realizing] 

  Pirate Ted the Swordfighter : Oh, he just wanted to kill me, huh?

  Guybrush Threepwood : That'd be my guess.

  Pirate Ted the Swordfighter : [Sadly]  Aye, that makes sense.

• Bugeye : [Guybrush' spirit has re-entered the physical world]  Hey you! Pipe down, we're in the middle of a pirate wake here!

  Guybrush Threepwood : A what?

  [sees his corpse standing while holding a dart board] 

  Guybrush Threepwood : Yup, that's me! This is a pretty disappointing wake.

  Wallace Grindstump : Yeah, well, LeChuck's killing spree may have hindered the turnout a bit.

  Guybrush Threepwood : And why am I posed like that?

  Wallace Grindstump : It's zany! The customers love it!

  Bugeye : What? That's exactly the way I remember you.