The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Large Hadron Collision (2010)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : You actually put that in an agreement!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, yeah. We also put in what happens if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant, or if one of us gets superpowers, of if one of us is bitten by a zombie.

  Sheldon Cooper : He can't kill me even if I turn.

  Penny : Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend?

  Sheldon Cooper : No, that seemed a little far-fetched.

• Sheldon Cooper : I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider since I was nine years old.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah? Well, I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's Day with a girl since I was six.

  Sheldon Cooper : Shame on you! That's no dream for a scientist!

• Leonard Hofstadter : I know what'll cheer you up; let's play one of your driving games.

  Sheldon Cooper : All right. This game is called 'Traitors'. I will name three historical figures; you put them in order of the heinousness of their betrayal. Benedict Arnold, Judas, Doctor Leonard Hofstadter.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You really think I belong with Benedict Arnold and Judas?

  Sheldon Cooper : You're right; Judas had the decency to hang himself after what he did.

• [first lines] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [on cellphone]  ... Sweetie. Uh, listen, I need to go, but I'll see you tonight? Bye-bye. Bye-bye. B- No, *you* hang up first. Hello?

  Raj Koothrappali : Dude, I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend, but do you *have* to do that lovey-dovey stuff in front of those of us who don't?

  Sheldon Cooper : Actually, he might have to. There's an economic concept known as a positional good, in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial but less precise "neener-neener".

• Sheldon Cooper : Round two: Leonard Hofstadter, Darth Vader, Rupert Murdoch.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Rupert Murdoch?

  Sheldon Cooper : He owns Fox and they cancelled Firefly. Hint: he and Darth Vader are tied for number two.

• Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon and Penny both have the flu]  I just don't understand how this happened to me. I'm scrupulous about my hygiene, I regularly disinfect my hands, and I avoid contact with other people on general principle.

  Penny : I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon.

  [Sheldon remembers when he hugged Penny] 

  Sheldon Cooper : It's *you*! I touched *you*!

  Penny : Happy Valentine's day.

• Sheldon Cooper : Hello.

  Penny : Hello.

  Sheldon Cooper : All right, let's dispense with the friendly banter. I believe you know why I'm here.

  Penny : Well, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses and report back to your alien overlords.

• Sheldon Cooper : Given that Saint Valentine was a third century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

• Sheldon Cooper : Since I rarely hug, I am relying on your expertise regarding duration.

  Penny : I think we're there.

• Sheldon Cooper : Help me out. Which ski hat says, "Après Super Collider"?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, I'm not taking you to Switzerland.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, of course you are. Who else would you take?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Penny.

  Sheldon Cooper : What? That's absurd. Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yes, but it'll be Valentine's Day. We can go sightseeing and skiing and make love in front of a roaring fire in the shadow of the snow-capped Alps.

  Sheldon Cooper : But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research!

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'm sorry, Sheldon.

  Sheldon Cooper : Sorry? I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider since I was 9 years old.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's with a girl since I was 6.

  Sheldon Cooper : Shame on you. That's no dream for a scientist.

• Sheldon Cooper : I made you breakfast. Juice, coffee, and pancakes in the shape of some of your favorite fictional characters. See, here's Frodo.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You made Frodo pancakes?

  Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, I used coconut shavings to do the hair on his feet.

• Sheldon : I think you know why I'm here.

  Penny : I always assumed it was to study us, discover our weaknesses and report back to your alien overlords.

• Sheldon Cooper : Which ski hat says "après super collider"?