The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Precious Fragmentation (2010)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sheldon Cooper : [Penny hits Sheldon when he tried to get the ring from her neck in her sleep]  You hit me! I'm bleeding!

  Leonard Hofstadter : What was that?

  Penny : Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That's my girl.

• Sheldon Cooper : If you're suggesting that that is the actual Ring of Power forged by Sauron in Mount Doom, I look at you with an expression of exhaustion and ever-so-slight amusement.

• Sheldon Cooper : Where's the ring?

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's in a FedEx box on its way back to where it came from.

  Raj Koothrappali : The fires of Mount Doom?

• Sheldon Cooper : I would advise the three of you that resistance is futile. I have endless patience. I once spent two and a half hours on hold with Hewlett Packard customer service just to complain about their customer service.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You want to talk about endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of "Sex and the City".

  Raj Koothrappali : There's six seasons, dude.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Aw, crap!

• Sheldon Cooper : [Takes the ring]  Mine!

  Leonard Hofstadter : No, it is not yours. We all went in on the box together.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, but I found it in the box, and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state that the finder of a sunken treasure is the owner of the treasure.

  Leonard Hofstadter : How is this maritime salvage?

  Sheldon Cooper : Other than the lack of water, how is it not?

• Howard Wolowitz : So, Sheldon. How's it feel to be beaten up by a girl?

  Sheldon Cooper : It's not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero. If only I'd had the presence of mind to re-absorb her. Then I'd have a mole with hair in it, instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.

• Penny : Who's Adam West?

  Sheldon Cooper : "Who's Adam West"? Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?

• [first lines] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?

  Sheldon Cooper : Well it's very simple. In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose, I am the smart one, Wolowitz is the funny one, and Koothrappali is the loveable foreigner who struggles to understand our ways and fails. That leaves you, by default, as the muscle.

  Leonard Hofstadter : One more floor and I'd be the pulled muscle.

• Sheldon Cooper : [Leonard refuses to let Sheldon have the ring]  I don't understand why, in this group, I never get my way.

  [Leonard does a double take, unable to believe what he just heard] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : You *always* get your way!

  Sheldon Cooper : I'll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.

• [last lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Give us the precious.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Never!

  Sheldon Cooper : [they fight]  Give it to me!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Get off of me!

  Sheldon Cooper : Give me the ring!

  Sheldon Cooper : It's mine!

  Penny : OK. I gotta go back to dating dumb guys from the gym.

  Sheldon Cooper : Give it to me! I said give it to me!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Mi-i-i-i-i-ne!

• [Dream Sequence: Raj, Howard and Sheldon are sleeping. Raj lets go of the ring to snuggle up against Howard. Sheldon wakes up to discover he is still holding onto the ring] 

  Sheldon Cooper : [surprised and triumphant]  I did it. The ring is mine. I've done it!

  [rushes off to the bathroom with the ring in his hand] 

  Sheldon Cooper : [shouts triumphantly]  The ring is mine! IT'S MINE!

  [Sheldon enters the bathroom, turns on the sink and begins to clean the ring] 

  Sheldon Cooper : [as he cleans up the ring; he talks to himself]  We're going to clean it up. And make it pretty.

  [Camera focuses on the ring in his hands] 

  Sheldon Cooper : [ecstatic]  My Own, My Love...

  [His voice suddenly becomes a gutteral hiss like Gollum] 

  Sheldon Cooper : My *Preciousss*.

  [Camera reveals that Sheldon has transformed into Gollum as he looks at himself in the mirror, shocked. Sitcom audience bursts into laughter as he screams at his reflection... and out of the dream] 

• Sheldon Cooper : We can't sell it. We have to keep it and love it and polish it and only take it out occasionally when we go to the park and re-enact our favorite scenes form the movies.

  Howard Wolowitz : It's sad how great that sounds.