The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Engagement Reaction (2011)
Melissa Rauch: Bernadette Rostenkowski
Photos
Quotes
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Howard Wolowitz : Mom also had just gotten some news that might've upset her.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : What?
Howard Wolowitz : It's not important.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Come on, Howard, I'm going to be your wife. You can share anything with me.
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, you'd think that, but no.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You told her we were going to get married and she had a heart attack?
Howard Wolowitz : You can't take that personally.
Penny : How else is she supposed to take it?
Howard Wolowitz : What you've gotta keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I've been the whole world to my mother. I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You mean sexual intercourse?
Howard Wolowitz : Well, when you say it like that, you make it sound creepy.
[Priya and Raj enter]
Priya Koothrappali : What happened?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't!
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Howard Wolowitz : Can I see her?
Dr. Bernstein : Well, actually, she said, and I quote, she'd like to see the "little Catholic girl" first.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Me? Why me?
Howard Wolowitz : Jews have been asking that for centuries; there's no real good answer.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Okay, well, wish me luck.
Howard Wolowitz : Don't worry, you'll be fine. Let's just hide Mr. Cross. If it touches her, it burns.
Dr. Bernstein : You brought a Catholic girl home to your mother?
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah.
Dr. Bernstein : Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax?
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : [about Mrs. Wolowitz] She said I'm a wonderful girl and that you're lucky to have me.
Howard Wolowitz : Where are you going?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [sounding like Mrs. Wolowitz] To the toilet! Is that okay with you!
[she exits]
Howard Wolowitz : [to Raj and Leonard] Is it just me or does she sound sexy when she's angry?
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[Sheldon has accidentally drunk out of Leonard's water glass]
Sheldon Cooper : The backwash into this glass is every pathogen that calls your mouth "home sweet home." Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue of your subtropical girlfriend.
Raj Koothrappali : Hey! That's my sister and my country you're talking about! Leonard may have defiled one, but I won't have you talking smack about the other!
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You guys ready to order?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes. I'd like a seven-day course of penicillin, some syrup of ipecac to induce vomiting, and a mint.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I don't understand.
Howard Wolowitz : He drank from Leonard's glass.
Sheldon Cooper : "He drank from Leonard's glass." Words they'll be carving into my tombstone.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : How can we be together if the thought of us getting married might kill your mother?
Howard Wolowitz : It's the circle of life, sweetie. One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : You're a putz! You know what that means?
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, do you?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Your mother just taught it to me. She thinks she got food poisoning from that deli and she just wanted to make sure I was okay.
Howard Wolowitz : And are you?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : No, because I'm engaged to a putz!
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Penny : Hey, do me a favor and take table 7?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You mean the one with my 118-pound rock-hard stud of a fiancé who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye?
Penny : No, I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend and his gorgeous, successful, sophisticated girlfriend who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?
Penny : Oh please, you're not that kind of person.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I know. But if she orders something low-fat, I'll totally give her the full-fat version.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What did your mother say when you told her you were getting married?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : He hasn't told her yet; he's waiting for the right time.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.
Priya Koothrappali : Howard, you've got to tell your mother!
Howard Wolowitz : [about Leonard] Hey, have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skim milk yet?
Priya Koothrappali : Uh, that's different. First of all, we're not engaged. And second, Indian parents are very protective of their children.
Howard Wolowitz : Right, right. Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-di-da approach to their sons.