The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Hot Troll Deviation (2010)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : [referring to an over sized desk] Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Raj Koothrappali : Seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on!
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Leonard Hofstadter : So Howard and Bernadette agreed to discuss it over coffee.
Sheldon Cooper : Quick question.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yes.
Sheldon Cooper : Why are you telling me all this?
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know. I guess your movements are so life-like I sometimes forget you're not a real boy.
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Raj Koothrappali : You're so arrogant! If you were a superhero, your name would be Captain Arrogant. And you know what your superpower would be? Arrogance!
Sheldon Cooper : You're wrong again. If my superpower were arrogance, my name would be Dr. Arroganto.
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Raj Koothrappali : You said I could get a desk.
Sheldon Cooper : This isn't a desk! This is a... Brobdingnagian monstrosity!
Raj Koothrappali : Is that the American idiom for "giant big-ass desk"?
Sheldon Cooper : It's actually British.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [Walking by Sheldon's office door] My God, what is that smell?
[Knocks on the door-Sheldon emerges wearing a gasmask]
Sheldon Cooper : Yes?
Leonard Hofstadter : What are you doing in there?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm making hydrogen sulfide and ammonia gas. Just a little experiment in pest control.
Raj Koothrappali : [Raj emerges from the office] That's not gonna work, dude, I grew up in India: an entire sub-continent where cows walk in the street and nobody has ever had a solid bowel movement.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, we'll just see how long you can hold out.
Raj Koothrappali : Well, we'll just see how you noxious gas fares against my cinnamon-apple scented aromatherapy candles.
[Retreats into the office. Sheldon turns to Leonard and shakes his head]
Leonard Hofstadter : Didn't you say you're making hydrogen sulfide gas?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes.
Leonard Hofstadter : Isn't that flammable?
Sheldon Cooper : Highly.
[Leonard looks at him with raised eyebrows]
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, dear.
Raj Koothrappali : [There is a flash and a bang from inside the office. Leonard and Sheldon step back quickly. Raj emerges blackened and dishevelled with a parakeet in a cage] This is not over.
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Raj Koothrappali : Why can't I buy my own desk?
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, why can't he buy his own desk?
Sheldon Cooper : Because...
[long pause]
Raj Koothrappali : Because?
Sheldon Cooper : Because it's my office.
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Howard Wolowitz : How am I gonna play this? Sophisticated and relaxed? Friendly, noncommittal? Cold and distant?
[Bernadette turns around. Howard dives under the table]
Bernadette : [as she walks by the table] Hi guys.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey.
Sheldon Cooper : Hello.
[peers under the table]
Sheldon Cooper : I see you decided to go with pathetic and frightened.
Raj Koothrappali : It's one of his best moves.
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Sheldon Cooper : Why on earth are you telling me all this?
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know. Sometimes your movements are so lifelike, I forget you're not a real boy.
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Sheldon Cooper : I see what's going on. This is the opening salvo in what will be an escalating series of juvenile tit-for-tat exchanges. Well titted.
Raj Koothrappali : Thank you
Sheldon Cooper : Stand by for my upcoming tat!
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Howard Wolowitz : I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
Raj Koothrappali : Has it occurred to you you're missing the big picture? If you look at neutron scattering data...
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, Penny? Penny?
Penny : What's up?
Sheldon Cooper : Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.