The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Apology Insufficiency (2010)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Quotes
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Raj Koothrappali : Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't want to speak to the FBI!
Leonard Hofstadter : Why not?
Raj Koothrappali : I'm brown and I talk funny.
Howard Wolowitz : They're just doing a background check on me.
Raj Koothrappali : It doesn't matter. They'll find a reason to give me a one-way ticket back to Gandhi-ville. By the way, when I say that, it's not offensive.
Leonard Hofstadter : Don't be ridiculous, Raj. You're here legally.
Raj Koothrappali : Nobody cares. Do you know how long it's been since I got through airport security without being given a colonoscopy?
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Howard Wolowitz : You're giving me a couch cushion?
Sheldon Cooper : No, the cushion is merely symbolic. I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
Sheldon Cooper : But you love that spot.
Howard Wolowitz : No. I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.
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[last lines]
Howard Wolowitz : I gotta tell you, Sheldon, I understand why you chose this spot. I mean: the temperature is good but there's no draft, I can see the television but I can still talk th...
Sheldon Cooper : I changed my mind; get out of my spot!
Penny : How long?
Leonard Hofstadter : Ninety-four seconds.
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Howard Wolowitz : I see. Well, it's good to know, when I need you guys, I can always count on you to step up and ruin everything.
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Sheldon Cooper : Howard. The person at fault for you not getting a security clearance is me.
Howard Wolowitz : You?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes, but before you get upset, I want you to know I went to the FBI and retracted my statement.
Howard Wolowitz : And they were okay with that?
Sheldon Cooper : No. If anything, I made it worse.