- Andy Dwyer: [Leslie is sick] Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems.
- Ann Perkins: Chris, have you seen Leslie?
- Chris Traeger: I had a dream that she came in here, took my medicine, told me not to tell you, then ran through that hole in the wall.
- Ann Perkins: You mean the door?
- Ron Swanson: I haven't had lunch since yesterday, so I'm going over to Callahan's.
- Andy Dwyer: No, don't go there. They totally skimp on pickles. Let me go to Big Head Joe's for you. They have the most insane burritos.
- Ron Swanson: I don't much go for ethnic food.
- Andy Dwyer: Trust me. They have one that's called the Meat Tornado.
- [Ron gives him an interested look]
- Andy Dwyer: Literally killed a guy last year.
- Ron Swanson: You had me at Meat Tornado.
- April Ludgate: What?
- Ann Perkins: [Looks at watch] 3... 2... 1, and my shift is over. What the fuck is your problem?
- April Ludgate: Whoa, I thought you weren't gonna lose it.
- Ann Perkins: While I was on duty, I didn't! Now it's just me. I get that you're mad that I kissed Andy, okay? But it was a moment of confusion, and it was a mistake. And I'm very sorry. You want to hate me forever?
- April Ludgate: Okay.
- Ann Perkins: Fine! You know what? I don't care! But you shouldn't take it out on Andy, because he really likes you, and he did nothing wrong. And just for the record, I'm starting to hate you too!
- [Leaves April's hospital room]
- April Ludgate: [to camera] That's the most I've ever liked Ann.
- Tom Haverford: I think I should drive you to the hospital.
- Leslie Knope: Was I wearing a tiara when I came in here? Because if you happen upon it, will you have Lady Pennyface retrieve it and send it post-hence?
- Andy Dwyer: [picking up the phone] Ron Swanson's office. Yeah, I'll transfer you.
- [Andy presses a button and gets a dial tone]
- Andy Dwyer: I just dropped another call.
- [Ron gives Andy a thumbs up]
- [April is smiling at the camera as she presses on her buzzer]
- Ann Perkins: Hey April. I thought you could use some pillows?
- April Ludgate: Are you trying to smother me?
- April Ludgate: [grabbing a butter knife from the food tray] Help! This lady nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow!
- Ann Perkins: Okay, never mind.
- April Ludgate: Stay back! Slut!
- Ann Perkins: Hey, April. I saw that you called for me, what can I do for you?
- April Ludgate: I need more flu medicine.
- Ann Perkins: Oh, an actual request. Well, you can't have any, that stuff is powerful. No extra doses.
- April Ludgate: I didn't take any. Leslie came in here and stole it and left.
- Ben Wyatt: Wow, you're really burning up.
- Leslie Knope: Can I get some money for the cab that I took over here please?
- Ben Wyatt: Sure, how much?
- Leslie Knope: I'm not sure. I looked at the meter and it had Egyptian hieroglyphics on it. Do you know the exchange rate?
- Business Man: Are we going to get the same sales tax incentives we used to?
- Leslie Knope: That's a very good question, sir, and I would counter with my own question, which is why is half of your face all swirly?
- Leslie Knope: It's not that I don't trust Ben... it's that I don't have faith in Ben... and I'm starting to forget who Ben is.
- Ron Swanson: I like Andy. I'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department... and that includes the men.
- Leslie Knope: Oh boy... hold on... be careful.
- Ben Wyatt: What?
- Leslie Knope: The floor and the wall just switched. Walk very carefully.