The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Plimpton Stimulation (2010)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Quotes
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Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton : Oh, good, Leonard's here.
Raj Koothrappali : [astounded] Good?
Leonard Hofstadter : Elizabeth, what's going on?
Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton : What's going on is you and Howard are my moving men, and Raj is my new landlord, and I don't have enough money to pay any of you.
Leonard Hofstadter : Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting?
Howard Wolowitz : Yep. Welcome to the Penthouse Forum!
Raj Koothrappali : OK, Show of hands, who's up for this?
[Only Howard raises his hand]
Leonard Hofstadter : We'll all be in naked in front of each other.
Howard Wolowitz : I'm out.
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Howard Wolowitz : Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon Cooper : Sarcasm?
Howard Wolowitz : Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Are you having trouble sleeping? Because... boy... I was up all night.
Raj Koothrappali : Did you get a cold, too?
Leonard Hofstadter : No, but I was awake all night.
Howard Wolowitz : If you want I can give you some of my mom's sleeping pills.
Raj Koothrappali : She won't notice them missing?
Howard Wolowitz : She doesn't know she takes them.
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Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton : You two figure out the details; I'm going to go change into something I don't mind getting ripped off my milky flesh!
[she goes into another room, closing the door behind her]
Howard Wolowitz : What the frack?
Raj Koothrappali : Go away! She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli!
[pause]
Raj Koothrappali : Besides, you have a girlfriend!
Howard Wolowitz : We broke up weeks ago!
Raj Koothrappali : Why didn't you say anything?
Howard Wolowitz : I was waiting for the right time! This is the right time!
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Howard Wolowitz : I have a two-part question.
Sheldon Cooper : Go ahead.
Howard Wolowitz : A: Are you kidding me? and B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
Sheldon Cooper : A: I rarely kid and B: When I do kid, you'll know it by my use of the word "Bazinga".
Howard Wolowitz : So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes... Bazinga.
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Howard Wolowitz : [Raj takes a swig from his flask] What are you doing?
Raj Koothrappali : Relax, it's Nyquil.
Leonard Hofstadter : You still have a cold?
Raj Koothrappali : Maybe, but I don't care. The good thing about Nyquil, it's like 10% booze. I call it the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine.
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Raj Koothrappali : [sneezes as he reaches the lunch table]
Sheldon Cooper : [stops Raj from sitting down] Hold!
Raj Koothrappali : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Explain your sneeze.
Raj Koothrappali : I'm sorry?
Sheldon Cooper : Do you have allergies?
Raj Koothrappali : No
Sheldon Cooper : Is there too much pepper on your salad?
Raj Koothrappali : I don't put pepper on salad.
Sheldon Cooper : I heard enough.
[Motions to the table behind him]
Sheldon Cooper : Sit over there.
Raj Koothrappali : Come on, I don't want to sit by myself.
Sheldon Cooper : That's what Typhoid Mary said and clearly, her friends buckled.
Raj Koothrappali : [to Leonard and Howard] Guys, help me.
Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon, come on.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, it's just one sneeze.
[Raj sneezes again]
Leonard Hofstadter : You're on your own.
Howard Wolowitz : See you, buddy.