The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Staircase Implementation (2010)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
-
Sheldon Cooper : Yes?
Leonard : I'm Leonard Hofstadter. I called you about the apartment and you said to come by...
Sheldon Cooper : I know what I said. I know what you said. I know what my mother said on March 5, 1992. What is the sixth noble gas?
Leonard : What?
Sheldon Cooper : You said you were a scientist. What is the sixth noble gas?
Leonard : Radon?
Sheldon Cooper : Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard : Telling you?
[Sheldon glares at him]
Leonard : Telling you.
Sheldon Cooper : All right. Next question. Kirk or Picard?
Leonard : That's tricky... Original Series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk.
Sheldon Cooper : Correct. You have passed the first barrier to roommatehood. You may enter.
-
Sheldon Cooper : We agree to reserve Friday nights to watch Joss Whedon's brilliant new show Firefly.
Leonard : Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon Cooper : We might as well settle it now. It's going to be on for years.
-
Leonard : According to the roommate agreement, I'm entitled to allocate 50% of the cubic footage of the common areas.
Sheldon Cooper : But you didn't notify me by e-mail first, so it's still a breach.
Leonard : I did notify you.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, you did, did you?
[Checks his Palm Pilot]
Sheldon Cooper : Drat! Hoisted by my own spam filter.
Leonard : What am I doing in your spam folder?
Sheldon Cooper : I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled "This is funny."
-
Sheldon : In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, reestablishing a functioning government, procreating, or preserving the knowledge of mankind?
Leonard : Uh, I'm gonna go with... preserving the knowledge.
Sheldon : That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating.
-
Sheldon Cooper : What are you sitting on?
Howard Wolowitz : I can't speak for these guys, but I'm sitting on my tushie. It's a joke.
Leonard : Not a good idea.
Raj Koothrappali : Tushie is buttocks, right?
Howard Wolowitz : Right.
Raj Koothrappali : Hilarious!
-
Leonard : So, I did something stupid. I'm sure you did stupid things when you were younger. What were you doing seven years ago?
Penny : Excuse me, I was in high school, studying, keeping my nose clean, doing volunteer work for the community...
[Cut to Penny seven years ago, sitting with her boyfriend looking at a pregnancy kit]
Penny : Not pregnant! Yes!
[They high-five]
-
Sheldon Cooper : Have a seat.
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay.
Sheldon Cooper : No, that's where I sit.
Leonard Hofstadter : What's the difference?
Sheldon Cooper : This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and the cross-breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle, allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : Actually, I couldn't get too mad at him about Joyce Kim.
Penny : Why not?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, I was doing some government research at the time, you know, military rocket fuel. It was kind of secret.
Penny : What does that have to do with Joyce Kim?
Leonard Hofstadter : As it turns out, she was a North Korean spy. Luckily, Sheldon drove her out before I revealed anything important.
-
Sheldon Cooper : Do you have a vehicle?
Leonard Hofstadter : A car, yes.
Sheldon Cooper : And you'd be willing to drive me?
Leonard Hofstadter : Can't you drive?
Sheldon Cooper : I can. I choose not to.
-
Sheldon Cooper : When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard Hofstadter : When I have to.
Sheldon Cooper : When you have to? I'm sorry, I don't rent to hippies.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : Go to hell and set their thermostat!
Sheldon Cooper : I don't have to go to hell. It's 73 degrees, I'm there already.
