- Roy: [On the phone] Listen, Alistair, I just wanted to say, I'm not a window cleaner. No, no, I work in IT. Yeah, yeah, with computers and all that. Macs? No, I just really work with Windows. Hello?
- Roy: This bloke thinks I'm a window cleaner. Bloke I went to college with, he's doing amazingly and he thinks that I am a window cleaner. A window cleaner!
- Jen Barber: What's wrong with that? It's a noble profession.
- Roy: If your last profession was cleaning balls.
- Prime: First rule of Street Countdown. Is that you really must try and tell as many people as possible about it. It's a rather fun game and the more people you tell about it the better.
- Moss: [why they don't answer the door at home] This is London, Jen. It's not someone with cake. Unless that cake is made of dog poo and knives!
- Prime: [to Roy] Countdown groupies are the most sexually voracious of all groupies, and the most beautiful.
- Rachel Riley: [to Moss] Someone reminded me earlier, you haven't actually yet got a word less than eight letters long. It's quite extraordinary.
- Jeff Stelling - Countdown Host: [to Moss] You really do look like you're on you way to winning that Countdown Teapot... no offence Jeremy.
- Jen Barber: Well, you shouldn't have agreed to mind it for him in the first place.
- Roy: Oh thanks, Jen. That's really helpful. That's -That's really good advice. That's exactly what I'll do. In the past. When it happens again. Last week.