The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (TV Series)

Peter Strauss/Betty White/Victor Buono (1981)

Betty White: Self - Guest, Jane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jane : Tarzan! You're late!

  Tarzan : Not Tarzan's fault! Vine controllers' strike!

• Tarzan : Witch doctor help Tarzan grow this! It called, uh... "Say this some plant".

  Jane : "Say this some plant"?

  Jane : [Tarzan plucks plant and sniffs it]  Say! This some bad weed!... Tarzan smoke no vine before its time!

• Jane : I have an announcement I want to make to the entire family. Boy! Cheetah!... Boy!

  [Boy and Cheetah walk onstage; Boy wears a leopard skin - and polished black shoes and gartered socks] 

  Tarzan : Boy never felt at home in jungle!

  Jane : It just isn't going to work. I am a modern woman - but you are a macho, chauvinist, hopeless case! I am leaving you, and getting a divorce.

  Tarzan : Woman stay with man! That law of jungle!

  Jane : You may have a law of jungle; I have a lawyer of the jungle.

  Tarzan : Don't know what Jane talk ab-

  [lawyer enters, gives Tarzan divorce papers] 

  Tarzan : You've gotta be kidding.

  Jane : I'm taking the treehouse, and Boy... and you can have that stupid-looking monkey you spend so much time with. See you in court... shrimp-vine!

• Tarzan : Tarzan know about night you made whoopie with Marlin Perkins!

  Jane : Oh, big deal. Just that one time... while Jim worked his way down the river.

  Tarzan : One time, my loincloth! Around jungle, you known as... Easy Country Safari!

• Jane : How come, when you take a shower under the waterfall, the hyenas all stand around and laugh at you?

  Tarzan : Hyenas always laugh!

  Jane : Yes - but they don't usually point!