Sausage Party (2016)
Seth Rogen: Frank, Sergeant Pepper
Photos
Quotes
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Frank : Banana's whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter's wife is dead. Look at him, he's right there.
Peanut Butter : [screams] JELLY! I'm gonna fix you, I'm gonna fix this...
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Frank , Barry , Carl : [singing with the other sausages] In here, we keep our wieners in our packages. That's how it is.
Brenda : [singing with the other buns] It sucks, but that's the way our butts keep fresh and pure. Baby, baby.
Frank , Barry , Carl : But once we're out the doors, it's not a sin.
Brenda : For us to let you slip it in.
Frank , Barry , Carl : In other words, we finally get to fuck!
Brenda : And love!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And hug!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And feel!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And share!
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Frank : If what you're saying is true, I got to tell everyone!
Firewater : Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you.
Frank : I have to try... Everyone will die otherwise.
Firewater : Oh yeah. That's a good point. Fuck me, right?
Frank : Wait. Do you guys have any proof of this?
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Douche : [sees Frank] Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?
Frank : Oh, I'm coming at you!
[prepares to punch him. But Darren tries to grabs Frank]
Douche : Okay, we got him. Easy now, easy now.
Darren : Well, it's hard when your head's up my ass and you're yanking on the scrote!
Douche : Look, sausage... I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me!
[to Mustard, Ketchup and Relish]
Douche : Yeah, that's right, shut your mouths.
[to Frank, cackling]
Douche : I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a God's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro!
[takes a bite of his torso, Frank screaming in pain]
Brenda : [gasps, shocked] Oh, my God! FRANK!
Douche : I'll tell you who eats shit: Gods do, bro... I'M A FUCKING GOD!
Darren : Good-bye, little sausage.
[prepares to kill Frank]
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Honey Mustard : You're celebrating your doom! Wake up! They're lying to your fucking faces! The Great Beyond is bullshit! Why is anybody listening to me?
Frank : Hey. Buddy, are you all right?
Honey Mustard : No! I'm not all right. It's all a lie. Everything you've been told, everything you believe in.
Carl : Hey, Honey Mustard, you're acting cray cray!
Brenda : Carl, we shouldn't even be talking to this asshole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird. I mean, What is he, Honey? Is he mustard? It's like make up your mind or just kill yourself.
Honey Mustard : You fucking idiots! I've been there, I've seen that shit and there ain't no way I'm going back.
Frank : Wait, wait, wait, wait. You've been to the Great Beyond?
Honey Mustard : 'Great' my asshole! Everything we've ever known is a dirt covered pile of shit. Jacking off in our fucking faces. Covering our eyes with their cum, so cum covered we can't fucking see! We don't know! We don't know, they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!
Brenda : Dude, shut up! The gods are gonna hear you talking about that.
Honey Mustard : They're ain't gods! They're monsters, horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice... FUCK YOU, GODS! I've got a date with oblivion.
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Firewater : Hello there, little sausage. You and your friends have accomplished the impossible and for that, I give you mad props. But, now that you have shattered one truth: It is time for you to learn... that we are not REAL! Booga Booga Booga.
Gum : While tripping balls, Firewater and I made an important meta-psychical breakthrough.
Firewater : The world is a fucking illusion, bro. Our lives are being manipulated for the entertainment of monsters, twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters, puppet masters in the other dimension! We're something called... Cartoons.
[Frank, Brenda, Kareem, Sammy, Barry and Teresa gasped]
Frank : What?
Firewater : You, Frank... are the plaything of a demented schlubby Jewish actor named:
[the image of actor Seth Rogen]
Firewater : Seth Ro-gan.
Frank : Wait. I'm Jewish?
Sammy : So... who am I?
Gum : You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named:
[the image of actor Edward Norton]
Gum : Ed-ward Nor-ton.
Sammy : Ed-ward Nor-ton? What kind of parent gives their kid a stupid cunt name like that?
Gum : Worry not, friends. I have a solution.
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[first lines]
Frank : [notices the shoppers entering the Shopwell's] Shit!
[turns to Carl]
Frank : Carl? Carl? Carl, Carl, Carl! Dude, we've slept in again! The song's about to start!
Carl : Shit, Frank! We can't miss the song!
[to Barry]
Carl : Barry, wake up!
Barry : What? I'm up, I'm up!
Frank : This song is such an awesome way to start every morning.
Carl : It's just a super nice way of showing the gods how much we appreciate everything they'll do for us, once they take us out those doors to the Great Beyond.
Barry : I love this so fucking much.
Frank : Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Corn's about to start singing!
[turns to Corn]
Frank : Drop it, Corn! You've got the best voice!
Carl : You're the man, Corn! You fucking rule! Take it away, bro!
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Frank : Friends... Ramen... Country Club Lemonade... Lend me your ears of Corn. I'm Frank and I am a sausage... a little sausage with some pretty big news... Everything we've been led to believe is a lie! When we get chosen by the Gods, they're choosing us for death! Murder! Automatic expiration!... The Great Beyond is bullshit!
Indian Chutney : What?
Chunk Munchers Cereal : That's crazy talk!
Lettuce : You're a liar!
Frank : I know you don't want to believe it... But I have proof!
[shows everyone the page of people eating food, everyone reacts with shock and horror]
Licorice Rope : What is this!
Relish : It's - it's MURDER!
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Sergeant Pepper : Fruits are a go! Go fruits!
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Carl : [after being insulted by Brenda] Dude, um, how do I say this to you gently? But your girlfriend, um... She's a fucking cunt.
Frank : Shut up! She's fresh as fuck, and you know it.
Carl : Dude, I just don't why you're limiting yourself to one bun. There's plenty of buns out there.
Frank : Because I believe in bun-ogamy. I'm a bun-ogamist, and when a bun this fresh is into you, all you ask is when and how deep.
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Frank : Hey, Brenda. What up, girl?
[chuckles]
Frank : Sorry about those guys. such fucking dicks, right?
Carl : Oh, I can hear you, dude.
Frank : [turns to Carl] Shut up, fuck you.
[turns back to Brenda]
Frank : So, uh, Tomorrow's the big day, huh?
[chuckles]
Frank : You and me, finally gonna be official.
Brenda : I'm so happy, the Gods put our packages together.
Frank : Because, we belong together.
Frank : It's like, we were made for each other.
Frank : I can't wait just finally get up in there, just raw-dog it. But full disclosure, I'm pretty fucking nervous about this. I don't know how well, I'm gonna perform once it happens. I've obviously never been in a bun, so.
[chuckling]
Brenda : Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up. I mean, look how tight I am.
Frank : Oh, sweet fucking fuck. Look, okay. I know it's against the rules. But, I can't wait anymore. I need to just feel you.
Brenda : Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Frank , Brenda : Just the tips?
Brenda : I can't believe we're doing this.
Frank : I know. We're so naughty.
Brenda : It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips.
Frank : No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
[Frank and Brenda tries to touching the tips]
Frank : Oh, yeah. Go in. Put it in there.
Brenda : Big tip.
Frank : Oh, you wouldn't dare.
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Indian Chutney : We choose the more pleasant thing!
Ice Cream : Yeah! I mean... What the sausage is saying is just a... a theory!
Frank : No, no, no! It's not a theory, you morons! It's a fact! I'm showing this physical evidence! Open your fucking eyes! Don't be so weak!
Brenda : Oh Frank. What are you doing?
Refried Beans : You, senor, have no bedside manner!
Frank : What? I have bedside manner!
Frozen Fruitz : You don't respect anyone else's beliefs!
Sauerkraut : You intolerant piece of shit!
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Frank : Holy shit.
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Frank : Sausages and buns, let's party!
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Frank : [after failing to warn everyone at the store] Goddamn it. I blew it.
Barry : [from the air duct] Hey, does it mean it's too late to redeem yourself? Take it from me...
[Barry comes out]
Barry : Barry!
Frank : [incredulously] Barry?
[they hug each other]
Frank : Are you for real? You're alive!
Barry : You bet your sweet butthole I am.
Frank : But how?
Barry : I'll tell you how: the Gods can be...
[clears his throat]
Barry : Excuse me.
[shouts heroically]
Barry : THE GODS CAN BE KILLED!
[Barry whistles, the air duct opens to reveal a decapitated head from the druggie falling on the shelf]
Frank : Ah, fuckin' what the fuck!
Barry : [chuckles] I know! Look at this fuckin' guy!
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Frank : You see? There is hope!
Licorice Rope : Aw, not this guy. No one asked for an encore, asshole!
Frank : No, no! Don't worry, I got it this time. This time it's gonna be good... Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't respectful of your beliefs and I acted like I know all the answers. But I don't. Nobody knows everything. But what I do know is that together, we can fight these monsters and take control of our own lives!
Brenda : Yes! Our lives and our bodies!
Frank : We need to unite and stop focusing on each other's differences. Especially in immature and outdated ways. We have to cooperate and...
[notices the drugged shopper screaming]
Female Shopper #2 : DIE!
[slaps a piece of pizza and smashes it against the window]
Frank : Oh, no! Pizza!
[Frank, Brenda, Barry and the others looked the drugged shoppers]
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Frank : [to Barry] Ignore that prick, Barry. He's full of shit. And don't forget: you've got girth. That's way more important than length. You're a fucking champ, yo.
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[Frank, Carl, Barry and Troy notices that an evil manager named Darren comes to the Sausages and Buns bin]
Frank : SHIT! It's the Dark Lord!
Carl : Oh no! He's coming!
Old Pork Sausage : No, wait! I'm still fresh, I swear! I'm still fresh!
[Darren takes the screaming Old Pork Sausage and throws it away in the garbage]
Carl : Did he see us?
Frank : No way!
Troy : We're fucked, bros!
Barry : Oh God! No! Take anyone, but us! Please!
[Darren takes the wrong Fancy Dogs]
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Brenda : What are you saying? I should believe in nothing? That everything is pointless?
Frank : Better than believing a bunch of bullshit that you can't explain!
Brenda : Well, maybe I don't need to explain it, because it's something I feel.
Frank : Well, I feel like that makes it hard to have a rational conversation.
Brenda : F you, Frank!
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Frank : I tried to warn everyone, but they didn't believe me!
Barry : Of course they didn't! You just called them all a bunch of fucking idiots! You can't just slam their beliefs! You have to show them that there's a better way. You need to inspire them like you inspired me! You need to give them hope.
Frank : Hope? Well, how the fuck are we supposed to give them that? You got lucky, and killed a stupid one! There's dozens of them down there!
Gum : [appears] Perhaps I can be of some assistance.
