Sausage Party (2016)
Kristen Wiig: Brenda
Photos
Quotes
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Frank , Barry , Carl : [singing with the other sausages] In here, we keep our wieners in our packages. That's how it is.
Brenda : [singing with the other buns] It sucks, but that's the way our butts keep fresh and pure. Baby, baby.
Frank , Barry , Carl : But once we're out the doors, it's not a sin.
Brenda : For us to let you slip it in.
Frank , Barry , Carl : In other words, we finally get to fuck!
Brenda : And love!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And hug!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And feel!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And share!
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Carl : Look at these big ol' buns!
[wolf whistles getting their attention]
Carl : Ye-ah, you know it, baby! Work those buns! All of you, all day, ur-day, lined up, waiting to get filled with my meat!
Brenda : Yeah. Right, Carl. You really think any of these buns are gonna line up to get filled by you? Here's my impression of that happening: 'Oh! Oh! Is he in there yet? Oh, I can't feel him! I don't think he's in there! Oh, wait he is!' It's so sad! I bet you jackrabbit for a quick fifteen seconds.
[jackrabbits mockingly]
Brenda : And then you slump over.
[Carl glares at her]
Brenda : [laughs] I mean, honestly, guys! Who in this package would ever let Carl get up in them?
[Another bun raises their hand]
Brenda : Roberta, put your fucking hand down! You're ruining my joke. See? Nobody. That's who.
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Douche : [sees Frank] Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?
Frank : Oh, I'm coming at you!
[prepares to punch him. But Darren tries to grabs Frank]
Douche : Okay, we got him. Easy now, easy now.
Darren : Well, it's hard when your head's up my ass and you're yanking on the scrote!
Douche : Look, sausage... I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me!
[to Mustard, Ketchup and Relish]
Douche : Yeah, that's right, shut your mouths.
[to Frank, cackling]
Douche : I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a God's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro!
[takes a bite of his torso, Frank screaming in pain]
Brenda : [gasps, shocked] Oh, my God! FRANK!
Douche : I'll tell you who eats shit: Gods do, bro... I'M A FUCKING GOD!
Darren : Good-bye, little sausage.
[prepares to kill Frank]
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Honey Mustard : You're celebrating your doom! Wake up! They're lying to your fucking faces! The Great Beyond is bullshit! Why is anybody listening to me?
Frank : Hey. Buddy, are you all right?
Honey Mustard : No! I'm not all right. It's all a lie. Everything you've been told, everything you believe in.
Carl : Hey, Honey Mustard, you're acting cray cray!
Brenda : Carl, we shouldn't even be talking to this asshole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird. I mean, What is he, Honey? Is he mustard? It's like make up your mind or just kill yourself.
Honey Mustard : You fucking idiots! I've been there, I've seen that shit and there ain't no way I'm going back.
Frank : Wait, wait, wait, wait. You've been to the Great Beyond?
Honey Mustard : 'Great' my asshole! Everything we've ever known is a dirt covered pile of shit. Jacking off in our fucking faces. Covering our eyes with their cum, so cum covered we can't fucking see! We don't know! We don't know, they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!
Brenda : Dude, shut up! The gods are gonna hear you talking about that.
Honey Mustard : They're ain't gods! They're monsters, horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice... FUCK YOU, GODS! I've got a date with oblivion.
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Brenda : [while saving Frank from a drugged woman] Stay away from my sausage, you SKANK!
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Frank : Hey, Brenda. What up, girl?
[chuckles]
Frank : Sorry about those guys. such fucking dicks, right?
Carl : Oh, I can hear you, dude.
Frank : [turns to Carl] Shut up, fuck you.
[turns back to Brenda]
Frank : So, uh, Tomorrow's the big day, huh?
[chuckles]
Frank : You and me, finally gonna be official.
Brenda : I'm so happy, the Gods put our packages together.
Frank : Because, we belong together.
Frank : It's like, we were made for each other.
Frank : I can't wait just finally get up in there, just raw-dog it. But full disclosure, I'm pretty fucking nervous about this. I don't know how well, I'm gonna perform once it happens. I've obviously never been in a bun, so.
[chuckling]
Brenda : Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up. I mean, look how tight I am.
Frank : Oh, sweet fucking fuck. Look, okay. I know it's against the rules. But, I can't wait anymore. I need to just feel you.
Brenda : Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Frank , Brenda : Just the tips?
Brenda : I can't believe we're doing this.
Frank : I know. We're so naughty.
Brenda : It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips.
Frank : No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
[Frank and Brenda tries to touching the tips]
Frank : Oh, yeah. Go in. Put it in there.
Brenda : Big tip.
Frank : Oh, you wouldn't dare.
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Indian Chutney : We choose the more pleasant thing!
Ice Cream : Yeah! I mean... What the sausage is saying is just a... a theory!
Frank : No, no, no! It's not a theory, you morons! It's a fact! I'm showing this physical evidence! Open your fucking eyes! Don't be so weak!
Brenda : Oh Frank. What are you doing?
Refried Beans : You, senor, have no bedside manner!
Frank : What? I have bedside manner!
Frozen Fruitz : You don't respect anyone else's beliefs!
Sauerkraut : You intolerant piece of shit!
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Douche : That's no way to treat a lady.
Brenda : Oh, fuck!
Douche : That's right, girl. It's me. And what we got here? A taco? A whiny donut? And some stupid flappy thing that nobody knows exactly what it is. Okay, so...
Queso : Did someone say 'Queso'?
Douche : That's a fucking stretch and you know it, Queso!
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Jamaican Rum : Hey, bun! Welcome to the aisle! Want to dance?
Brenda : No thank you, man. I'm quite irie, just being left alone over here, don't you know?
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Brenda : First, I fell out of the cart, then I lose Frank. And now, I'm being hunted by a douche. The gods must be punishing me, don't you see? This is what I get for giving in to my disgusting urges. I'm such a whore.
Teresa : Sweet bun, I must admit I too sometimes have urges, impure thoughts. We all do.
Brenda : Oh. Oh good! Okay. Well, that actually makes me feel a little better.
Teresa : And we must never give in to them.
Brenda : Oh no. That's the opposite of what I thought you were gonna say.
Teresa : Oh, yes. The gods are always watching... Even when we cannot see them.
Brenda : Do you think it's too late for me?
Teresa : Do not worry, bun. I will get you home.
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Brenda : Kind of stuffy in here, Eh, girls? So I'm just gonna get out, get a little air for a second.
[She tries to get out, But the buns grabs Brenda]
Loretta Bun : What's your problem?
Brenda : Let go of me!
Loretta Bun : First, you smushed Sally...
[sees Sally, who smushed, she turns back to Brenda]
Loretta Bun : ... And then, you try to fuck up red, white and blue day for us?
[Buns began to fighting Brenda in package]
Brenda : Get your hands off me! I've got to get out of here!
Loretta Bun : Just chill out, you crazy bitch!
Catcall Sausage : Bun fight! Check it out!
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Frank : You see? There is hope!
Licorice Rope : Aw, not this guy. No one asked for an encore, asshole!
Frank : No, no! Don't worry, I got it this time. This time it's gonna be good... Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't respectful of your beliefs and I acted like I know all the answers. But I don't. Nobody knows everything. But what I do know is that together, we can fight these monsters and take control of our own lives!
Brenda : Yes! Our lives and our bodies!
Frank : We need to unite and stop focusing on each other's differences. Especially in immature and outdated ways. We have to cooperate and...
[notices the drugged shopper screaming]
Female Shopper #2 : DIE!
[slaps a piece of pizza and smashes it against the window]
Frank : Oh, no! Pizza!
[Frank, Brenda, Barry and the others looked the drugged shoppers]
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Tequila : Excuse me? Are you a bun?
Brenda : Uhh... Yeah, I am. Why?
Tequila : And you've been traveling with the sausage?
Tequila : I have! He's looking for you in my aisle. He's right this way. I can take you to him, chica. I take you to him real good.
Tequila : He's looking for you in my aisle. He's right this way. I can take you to him, chica. I take you to him real good.
[laughing hysterically]
Tequila : All right, vaminos. Let's go. I am to be trusted.
[laughs again]
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Brenda : What are you saying? I should believe in nothing? That everything is pointless?
Frank : Better than believing a bunch of bullshit that you can't explain!
Brenda : Well, maybe I don't need to explain it, because it's something I feel.
Frank : Well, I feel like that makes it hard to have a rational conversation.
Brenda : F you, Frank!
