- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: To be honest with you, it's not the "great" wall, it's an "all right" wall. It's the All Right Wall of China.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: You see, I don't know where it stops. Where's the line between food and insect. If she gets up in the morning and sees a spider in the bath, what does she do? Oh, of course, I'll leave the croissant for tomorrow, I'll eat this now.
- [disconcerted sigh]
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: [Looking at the Great Wall of China] You know, you can see it for miles - goes on for miles, over the hills and everything. But, so does the M6. Do you know what I mean? You can see that for miles. And you go great. And that does a job. You can drive on that.
- [last lines]
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: There's an old Chinese proverb, by this Mao fellow, that says a toad in a well only gets to see some of the sky. And if the toad came up, he'd see more of the world. Which, you know, is a bit like me in a way. I've seen more of the world just from doing this. I don't know if it's made me a better person or not, but he's saying it is. He's saying that if you get out of the well and see the bigger picture, it's good for you. But I say it isn't. And the thing is, it's not even worth getting out to see more sky, 'cause of all the pollution. And definitely, if you're a toad, I wouldn't get out of it any old way, 'cause they'll grab you and cut your head off and they'll eat you.
- Karl Pilkington - Presenter: Back in England restaurants get shut down for having cockroaches in the kitchen, here it's a meal starter.