- Dwight Schrute: In the Schrute family, the youngest child always raises the others. I've been raising children since I was a baby.
- Michael Scott: [to Gabe] If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you. That's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family.
- Andy Bernard: I just ate an entire seahorse! I have to admit, I did not think it was going to work, but it's totally working! I feel exactly like a sea horse! Neighhh gurgle gurgle...
- Erin Hannon: [about Gabe] Why don't you like him?
- Michael Scott: What is there to like? He's just... he's a weird little skeevy guy with no waist. Why do you care whether we like him or not?
- Erin Hannon: I care if *you* like him.
- Michael Scott: Why? I'm not your father
- [Long pause]
- Michael Scott: Alright.
- Erin Hannon: Ok.
- Michael Scott: Go to your room.
- Erin Hannon: What?
- Michael Scott: Go to your room, young lady.
- Erin Hannon: Uhm... I'm not going to my room.
- Michael Scott: You listen to me, you listen good. You are not to see that boy anymore.
- Erin Hannon: You listen to me, you are not to tell me what to do!
- Michael Scott: As long as you are living under this roof, you are going to do what I say.
- Erin Hannon: I hate your roof!
- Michael Scott: Oh, do not raise your voice to me!
- Erin Hannon: I'll raise it all I want, I'll raise the roof!
- Kelly Kapoor: Columbia Street in Washington Ave! When is he gonna come out?
- [phone rings, Kelly answers and hangs up]
- Andy Bernard: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? Sixty miles to the gallon in the city.
- Kevin Malone: No! I bet he's wishing he was strangling someone!
- Michael Scott: Ok, that's our street! That's our street! He's going down our street!
- [runs out of conference room]
- Michael Scott: Come on everybody!
- [all quickly follow]
- Dwight Schrute: Ugh, they shouldn't televise any of this. It just encourages copycats.
- Angela Martin: Just say copies. Why do you have to drag cats into this?
- Erin Hannon: Michael knows everything there is to know about snacks.
- Michael Scott: Well.
- Erin Hannon: Gabe was born in 1982. He was the longest baby in the hospital.
- Michael Scott: He's the longest baby in this room.
- Erin Hannon: What's the longest thing you've ever seen? For me it was the trail from a jet...
- Gabe Lewis: Erin you don't have to...
- Michael Scott: Yeah, you know what, Erin, you do have to.
- Gabe Lewis: Michael, you are making this harder than it has to be.
- Michael Scott: [Dead Serious] That's what she said.
- Dwight Schrute: What are you doing?
- Kevin Malone: I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket... In a blanket.
- Pam Beesly: Jim, just don't think of it as degrading. Think of it as you happen to be moving the pizza six inches this way, and he happens to be biting it.
- Dwight Schrute: I prefer for him to think of it as degrading.