You know how irritating it is, when watching a horror movie, you have to wait an awful long time before something significant or even remotely horrific happens? Tension building is a good thing, but depending on the type of movie you rented, you sometimes just want to see blood and carnage, like it's illustrated on the DVD cover and the stills on the back of the box. Well, "Psycho Shark" brings this sentiment of annoyance to a whole brand new dimension
Please, if you're not familiar with this title, I invite you to perform a search via Google Images and have a good look at the poster image. You will most likely encounter a poster of a shark emerging with wide open jaws, ready to swallow a victim in bikini, as well as stills from a ridiculous over-sized shark practically eating an entire wharf. Looks pretty cool, doesn't it? The painful truth, however, is that all these images are a bunch of shenanigans. "Psycho Shark", or "Jaws in Japan" as it is also known, isn't about raging sharks at all. More than an hour of this already relatively short movie centers on two beautiful and (very) young girls on vacation. The girls have fun and film each other in their too tight bikinis while a sinister young man observes them from a distance. For you see, the shark in the title is probably symbolic as we're dealing with a pervert with a little plastic shark on his key ring. Lame! Until suddenly and completely out of the blue, two minutes before the ending, the worst computer engineered fake shark in the history of bad horror cinema emerges from the water. The few courageous viewers who managed to last this long will be amazed at how awful the digital shark looks. I bet director John Hijiri has a profound explanation about the psychological depth and metaphors hidden in his film, but quite frankly I don't think anyone cares. When people rent a film with a bloodthirsty shark on the cover, they want to see just that!