- Pete Lattimer: Trust me, a whoosh and a twinkle is a lot better than a sizzle and a splat, or worse zzz-zap and ker-chow.
- Lila: Too busy making money to keep a promise to your daughter?
- Larry Newley: Now is not a good time Lila.
- Lila: You said you were going to decorate the tree.
- Larry Newley: I never said that, okay? And listen by the way I sent over some incredibly expensive antique ornaments. Did you even bother to give them to her?
- Lila: Not really the same as her dad being here.
- Larry Newley: Look I know my daughter and I know that she happens to like things like that. She is an old soul!
- Lila: And she's getting older, another year gone by Larry. How many are you gonna miss?
- [she hangs up on him]
- Myka Bering: Do you have any idea who might be threatening him? I don't know, maybe a erm a new man in your life who thinks he might be doing you a favor?
- Lila: There's no one new.
- Myka Bering: Have you ever erm heard anyone refer to your ex-husband as Larry Noodle?
- Lila: [they both laugh] Wow! Larry Noodle. I haven't heard that since he was a teenager. He hated that nickname.
- [she laughs]
- Myka Bering: So you guys have known each other for a really long time.
- Lila: High school.
- Myka Bering: Wow.
- Lila: Yeah, God we were so happy when we had nothing and then the more successful he became the more that was the only thing that mattered. Larry Noodle, I miss him. He was sweet.
- Myka Bering: Artie, is it, is it possible that...
- Artie Nielsen: That yes, Virgina, there really is a Santa Claus?
- Pete Lattimer: The dude enters and exits through chimneys! He travels across the room as fairy dust. Look, Artie, this was the real Santa, okay? Oh, and by the way, be nice because Santa is badass.
- Artie Nielsen: There really was a St. Nicholas in Fourth Century Turkey and he was known to have put coins in people's shoes.
- Pete Lattimer: Real Santa! Excellent! You know, I knew it. Seriously, it explains so much.
- Myka Bering: You're making a Christmas list in your head right now, aren't you?
- Pete Lattimer: Maybe.
- Artie Nielsen: I'm wearing your coat.
- Claudia Donovan: Captain Nemo!
- Artie Nielsen: I'm freezing.
- Claudia Donovan: You are supposed to button it.
- Artie Nielsen: Oh.
- [the fabric stretches, but not enough for Artie to button the coat]
- Artie Nielsen: I thought the buttons were decorative.
- Claudia Donovan: Yeah, well, on you, all buttons are decorative.