- Watson the Computer: [after laughing at one of Conan's funny monologue jokes] My virtual stomach hurts. You are as gifted as Oscar Wilde.
- Andy Richter: [unable to hide his annoyance any longer] Oh, come on, that, that was a stinker and you know it! I mean, could you be any more of an ass-kisser? You come in here, you suck up to Conan, try to do what I do.
- Watson the Computer: I could never do what you do: leave your wife unsatisfied.
- Watson the Computer: [Andy throws Watson of the top of the studio building] I haven't gone down this fast since I was with your...
- [Watson hits the ground and explodes]
- Conan O'Brien: Why did they pack a computer screen with explosives?
- [giggles]
- Andy Richter: That was all his thinkin'.
- [more giggles from Coco]
- Watson the Computer: [Watson's smoldering remains keep talking] Andy's wife is a great ball-handler.
- Andy Richter: Now that, see, that's complimentary.
- Conan O'Brien: Yeah, nice.