An Idiot Abroad (TV Series)

Desert Island (2011)

Karl Pilkington: Self - Presenter

Quotes 

• Karl Pilkington - Presenter : My feet haven't touched the ground. I can't believe I'm getting in another plane. I've been in the air more than some pigeons. Pigeons seem to walk about more than I've been doing the last two days.

• Karl Pilkington - Presenter : I've always thought it'd be handy having a volcano close to hand. Just to get rid of, you know, old mattresses, old chest of drawers you don't want. It's a pain in the ass, though, isn't it, when you've got to call the council 25 quid at a time. Chuck it in that big hole. I'd love that at home. Some sort of big burning hole that you just chuck stuff in.

• Karl Pilkington - Presenter : [eating gourmet food on a classy pier over clear blue water]  I'm not enjoying it as much as I normally would. 'Cause Ricky and Steve have sorted it out, and a bit of me's thinking, why are they doing this? It's almost like being in a private hospital. Yeah, you're getting a comfy bed, you're getting good food - tomorrow you're having a leg off. You know what mean?

• Karl Pilkington - Presenter : I say happiness is like having a cake. If you have a cake every day, you get sick of that cake. If you're happy all the time, you get sick of being happy. That's a good saying actually. Happiness is like a cake - have too much of it, you get sick of it.

• Karl Pilkington - Presenter : Typical isn't it? The day I'm leaving, the sun comes out. It's the Pilkington luck.

• Ricky Gervais - Executive Producer : Okay, spend a night on your own desert island, in your pants. Yeah?

  Karl Pilkington - Presenter : You could go a bit mad though, yeah?

  Ricky Gervais - Executive Producer , Stephen Merchant - Executive Producer : Not in a day!

  Ricky Gervais - Executive Producer : If I was there you could.

• Ricky Gervais - Executive Producer : [goading him]  I think you're taking a piss, mate.

  Karl Pilkington - Presenter : What do you mean taking a piss? I mean, if you could see where I am, I'm not taking a piss. This no decent holiday, this. I'm sacked with a load of luggage here, with my knees in the back of the pilot.

  Ricky Gervais - Executive Producer : It's supposed to be things to do before you die.

  Karl Pilkington - Presenter : You are! I've got to try and just control this, otherwise you're gonna end up killing me.