The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Wiggly Finger Catalyst (2011)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, I know they have money. But I don't think it's that much.

  Sheldon Cooper : No, you're wrong. See, as you know, a few years ago I achieved one of my lesser dreams and became a notary public. From time to time I noterized banking documents for Raj. The Koothrappalis aren't just rich. They're Richie Rich rich.

  Penny : So how much is that?

  Sheldon Cooper : About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck.

  Howard Wolowitz : What the hell, the last time we went to the zoo, that son of a bitch made me buy him a churro.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Listen guys, I'm sorry. I don't want to be rude, but I need to go call Raj's sister, who I love so much. So vastly much.

  Penny : Okay, so he's got money and it's a few gifts and a car.

  Howard Wolowitz : And she got him to pay off all her credit cards.

  Penny : What? He paid off her credit cards? Damn it, I could have dated Raj for a couple months.

• Penny : [whispering]  Oh, here she comes!

  Howard Wolowitz : Smart. Whisper, so the deaf chick can't hear you.

• [Penny and Howard have just confronted Raj's girlfriend Emily to check if she's a golddigger] 

  Raj Koothrappali : [Yelling]  How dare you ambush my girlfriend at the gym?

  Penny : We didn't mean for it to be an ambush! It just, it's kind of impossible not to sneak up on deaf people!

• Penny : This girl is trouble! What kind of relationship is it where you buy her gifts, and she gives you sex?

  Raj Koothrappali : The best one I ever had!

• Penny : Mustache is looking good there, Sheldon.

  Sheldon Cooper : Don't thank me, thank the dice. They told me what percentage of my face to shave.

  Howard Wolowitz : Why are you still doing this?

  Sheldon Cooper : Because it's working. In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I have co-authored two papers in notable peer review journals, and I'm close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You forgot to mention got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants.

  Sheldon Cooper : The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.

• Penny : [sees Howard ogling at a woman in a gym]  Really, Howard? You're engaged to my friend.

  Howard Wolowitz : Hey, Bernadette doesn't need to know how I rev up my engine so long as I park the car in the right garage.

  Penny : I can't believe you're engaged to my friend.

• Penny : I can't believe Raj has a girlfriend.

  [Sheldon rolls his dices] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Me neither.

• Sheldon Cooper : I actually have information about Raj that would be helpful with this discussion.

  [continues to eat, without further explanation. The others looks curiously at him] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Could you tell us...?

  Sheldon Cooper : Let's see...

  [rolls dice] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Snake eyes. Sorry, bud.

  Penny : Hang on... Doubles. Roll again.

  Sheldon Cooper : [rolls again]  Okay, get this. It doesn't matter if he's showering her with gifts. Because the Koothrappali's are vastly wealthy.

  Penny : What do you mean, "vastly wealthy"?

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, wealthy means a lot of money, and vastly means even more. I'm not sure what's tripping you up.

• Penny : [to Emily]  Can we talk to you about Raj?

  Howard Wolowitz : She says: "Sure, what about him?"

  Penny : Raj is naive. He hasn't dated a whole lot of women...

  [Howard stops signing here, as he gets distracted by two beautiful women at the reception desk behind them] 

  Penny : ... and I'm concerned that, without meaning to, you might be taking advantage of him, by letting him buy lots of expensive things and I...

  [realizing that Howard isn't signing anymore] 

  Penny : Howard! Focus. Tell her what I'm saying.

  Howard Wolowitz : Right!

  [signing] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Are you a gold digger or not?

  [Penny looks at him, disgusted by him. Emily gets infuriated, and starts to sign with rage] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Oh, uh... something, something... Who the something do you think you are? Mind your own something business and go something yourself!

  [Emily leaves, and Penny looks at him in shock] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Oh, I get this now...

• Penny : He is cuter now that I know he's rich.