The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Wiggly Finger Catalyst (2011)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
-
Raj Koothrappali : I don't know if I want to play anymore.
Sheldon Cooper : Because you don't have a girlfriend? Good lord, if that becomes a reason to not play Dungeons & Dragons, this game's in serious trouble.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, I know they have money. But I don't think it's that much.
Sheldon Cooper : No, you're wrong. See, as you know, a few years ago I achieved one of my lesser dreams and became a notary public. From time to time I noterized banking documents for Raj. The Koothrappalis aren't just rich. They're Richie Rich rich.
Penny : So how much is that?
Sheldon Cooper : About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck.
Howard Wolowitz : What the hell, the last time we went to the zoo, that son of a bitch made me buy him a churro.
Leonard Hofstadter : Listen guys, I'm sorry. I don't want to be rude, but I need to go call Raj's sister, who I love so much. So vastly much.
Penny : Okay, so he's got money and it's a few gifts and a car.
Howard Wolowitz : And she got him to pay off all her credit cards.
Penny : What? He paid off her credit cards? Damn it, I could have dated Raj for a couple months.
-
Sheldon Cooper : Can't figure out what to do? I remember those days! If you'll excuse me, I have to...
[stands up, rolling dice]
Sheldon Cooper : Stay right here.
[sits down]
-
Penny : Mustache is looking good there, Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper : Don't thank me, thank the dice. They told me what percentage of my face to shave.
Howard Wolowitz : Why are you still doing this?
Sheldon Cooper : Because it's working. In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I have co-authored two papers in notable peer review journals, and I'm close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle.
Leonard Hofstadter : You forgot to mention got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants.
Sheldon Cooper : The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.
-
Penny : I can't believe Raj has a girlfriend.
[Sheldon rolls his dices]
Sheldon Cooper : Me neither.
-
Sheldon Cooper : The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face to face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?
Howard Wolowitz : I say, "Hey, Ma! What's for dinner?"
Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon rolls dice] Seventeen. The ogre is amused by your joke and allows you to pass. And by the by, I liked it too.
-
Sheldon Cooper : I actually have information about Raj that would be helpful with this discussion.
[continues to eat, without further explanation. The others looks curiously at him]
Leonard Hofstadter : Could you tell us...?
Sheldon Cooper : Let's see...
[rolls dice]
Sheldon Cooper : Snake eyes. Sorry, bud.
Penny : Hang on... Doubles. Roll again.
Sheldon Cooper : [rolls again] Okay, get this. It doesn't matter if he's showering her with gifts. Because the Koothrappali's are vastly wealthy.
Penny : What do you mean, "vastly wealthy"?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, wealthy means a lot of money, and vastly means even more. I'm not sure what's tripping you up.
-
Howard Wolowitz : Really? On Dungeons and Dragons I enter a dungeon and find a dragon? Isn't that a little on the nose?
Sheldon Cooper : When you play Chutes and Ladders, do you complain about all the chutes and ladders?