The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Good Guy Fluctuation (2011)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Howard Wolowitz : [after scaring Sheldon and making him faint] Who had money on faints?
Raj Koothrappali : I had peed his pants.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hang on. Looks like everyone's a winner.
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[Leonard is getting advice from Penny about whether he should sleep with a local woman while his girlfriend is living in India]
Leonard Hofstadter : Here's the thing: I-I-I'm not one of those guys who sneaks around and sleeps with more than one woman.
Penny : Good for you!
Leonard Hofstadter : Problem is, I want to be one of those guys.
Penny : So, sleep with the new girl and lie to Priya.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, that's not who I am.
Penny : Alright, then break it off with the new girl.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, now let's not do anything rash. Sh-she's really hot...
Penny : If you like this girl so much, why don't you just end things with Priya?
Leonard Hofstadter : Priya and I are in love. I think we could get married some day.
Penny : Leonard, you're looking for a way to sleep with both women, and have everybody be happy about it.
Leonard Hofstadter : *Now* we're getting somewhere!
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Penny : What does your gut tell you?
Leonard Hofstadter : Go ask Penny, she'll know what to do.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [after Alice writes down her number in his palm] Sorry, my palm is a little sweaty. What's that word?
Alice : Alice.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, right! Your name. That makes more sense than "penis".
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Penny : Did you tell her about Priya?
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, I was gonna, but I had too many tongues in my mouth.
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Priya : [after confessing he kissed another woman] Leonard, relax. It's ok.
Leonard Hofstadter : It is?
Priya : Yeah. These things happen. They happen to everybody.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh my God, you are amazing. I mean, I don't deserve you. Wh-what do you mean everybody?
Priya : Leonard, I didn't know if I should tell you, but, I kind of cheated on you, too.
Leonard Hofstadter : Kind of?
Priya : A couple of weeks ago, I slept with my ex-boyfriend. So I guess we both messed up a little.
Leonard Hofstadter : No, no, I messed up a little, you messed up a lot.
Priya : Well, it's not a competition.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, yeah it is, and you won.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [after scaring Sheldon a second time] You might be from Texas, but I'm from New Jersey.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, we used to go out, right?
Penny : [dryly] Oh, my God, that's where I know you from.
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Penny : Did you tell her about Priya?
Leonard Hofstadter : I was gonna but there were too many tongues in my mouth.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, uh, here it is. Is it cheating if a guy has a girlfriend...
Penny : Yeah, probably.
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Sheldon Cooper : The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed that morality is just a fiction used by the herd of inferior human beings to hold back the few superior men.
Leonard Hofstadter : That actually does help.
Sheldon Cooper : It's worth noting that he died of syphilis.
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Alice : Are you getting this "Next Men"?
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, yeah, it's issue number 21, first appearance of Hellboy.
Alice : I know. I've been looking for it for years.
Leonard Hofstadter : Sorry.
Alice : Hey, if I pretended to hit on you, could it distract you enough to sneak it away?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yes, but you'd be using your superpowers for evil.
Alice : Damn. I'm forbidden by my Kryptonian father to do so.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [breaking off from kissing] Dammit. I can't. I can't, I can't do this.
Alice : Uh, is it my tongue stud? 'Cause if that freaks you out you're in for a real surprise later on.