The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Good Guy Fluctuation (2011)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last line of the episode, after Sheldon scares Leonard, who just found out that Priya cheated on him] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Bazinga, punk! Now we're even!

• Bernadette Rostenkowski : [off screen]  Who is it?

  Sheldon Cooper : It's me, Sheldon, Mrs. Wolowitz!

  Howard Wolowitz : Oh, that's not my mom, that's Bernadette.

  Sheldon Cooper : Really? That's unsettling.

• Sheldon Cooper : Oh, the walls are dripping blood, which looks nothing like a phenolphthalein indicator exposed to a sodium carbonate solution.

  [reading red paint on the wall] 

  Sheldon Cooper : "See you in hell Sheldon..." The most frightful thing about that is the missing comma!

• Sheldon Cooper : You're a better man than I, Howard Wolowitz. You put 'er there, you son of a gun!

  [holds out his hand] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Oh, whatever.

  [they shake hands, Howard gets the electric shock, and faints] 

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh my God, Howard! What did you do?

  Sheldon Cooper : [panics]  It was a harmless Halloween prank... Look...

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Howard has a heart condition! You know that!

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, I thought he made that up! Isn't hypochondria common idiosyncrasy of Jewish people?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : This is adrenaline... we're gonna have to inject it into his heart.

  Sheldon Cooper : We are?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : You are! I'm not strong enough to get it through his chest plate, and we've only got one shot!

  [gives the needle to Sheldon] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh no! I can't!

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hurry! We're running out of time!

  Sheldon Cooper : Okay...

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Just do it!

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh God! One... two... three...

  [sticks a "needle" in Howard's chest] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [opens his eyes undramatically, revealing that he was just acting]  Trick or treat, bubbeleh.

  Sheldon Cooper : [while Howard and Bernadette laughs]  What? No! You mean all this was just a ruse? Oh, how could I be so STU-U-U-U...

  [touches his head with the electronic device and falls down again] 

• [Sheldon is working on an electric device he plans to trick Howard with] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Hello, Howard. I've realized that you scaring me was all in just. Now, allow me to say... "Good job."

  [he shakes hands with himself. He thereby touches the electric device and gets an electric shock, falling down towards the floor] 

• Sheldon Cooper : Some ghostly moans, rattling of chains and a witch's cackle, the trifecta of haunted house cliches. Instead of "eek", I say "yawn".

• Sheldon Cooper : [after trying to scare Raj]  I tried to scare an Indian with a snake. Come on, Cooper, you're better than this.

• Howard Wolowitz : Come on. Admit it, we got you, Sheldon!

  Sheldon Cooper : Please! Fright depends on an element of surprise. The simple fact is, because I am much smarter than you and able to anticipate your actions...

  [Leonard comes up behind him in a mask] 

  Sheldon Cooper : ...it is highly unlikely that you two rubes could ever surprise me.

  Raj Koothrappali : He's probably right.

  Howard Wolowitz : We can't beat him. He's just too smart.

  Sheldon Cooper : [satisfied]  Gentlemen.

  [turns around, sees Leonard in his mask, screams and faints down on the floor] 

• Sheldon Cooper : You guys forget, I'm from Texas, where we know how to settle a score. Don't ask me, ask Mexico.

• Sheldon Cooper : The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed that morality is just a fiction used by the herd of inferior human beings to hold back the few superior men.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That actually does help.

  Sheldon Cooper : It's worth noting that he died of syphilis.

• Sheldon Cooper : [revising a physics equation on his white board]  And reverse the spin on the antiproton and gamma becomes alpha, multiplied by a matrix of negative i comma zero, and there we have it: conclusive proof that I am absolutely worthless after 9 o'clock.