- Max Black: OH! T.A.T. Rings! No.
- Caroline Channing: I guess it's something that only people in the 'know' know, you know?
- Max Black: No.
- Caroline Channing: You're just taking advantage of people because the world economy is crashing.
- Elena: It's called Cash for Gold not Sympathy for Flat Chicks!
- Caroline Channing: Which ring should I sell? There's so much history in my lap.
- Max Black: I don't even wanna tell you about the history in my lap!
- Max Black: It's the muscle car of ovens. It's bad ass! It's so bad ass, when I do karaoke I change the lyrics from Purple Rain to Purple Range!
- Max Black: So, if those are your expensive rings what is all that other stuff you wear?
- Caroline Channing: Cheaper copies. You never wear the good stuff out in public!
- Max Black: Got it. Kinda like hiding the Banana Republic, and wearing the Gap.
- Elena: This ain't right, man. Two a.m. starts Earl time.
- Caroline Channing: Earl, here's your brandy.
- Elena: Okay, we're good now.
- Oleg: That little man disrespects me. H - He insult my food, my English, my "hyjane."
- Max Black: Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?
- Oleg: A hug would help.
- Max Black: If I hug you, will you go back to work?
- Oleg: Yes.
- Max Black: Two-second hug. I'm going in.
- [Max and Oleg hug, Caroline comes in]
- Caroline Channing: Aw!
- [Max and Oleg pull away, Max's yellow shirt zipper is pulled down revealing her cleavage]
- Caroline Channing: Uh...
- [Caroline points to Max's shirt revealing what had happened]
- Max Black: [to Oleg] How did you do that? Your hands never left my back!
- Oleg: I am like David Blaine of zippers.
- Max Black: I was trying to cheer you up.
- Oleg: You did.
- Caroline Channing: Hey.
- Max Black: Hey. What's that smell?
- Caroline Channing: I'm making cupcakes.
- Max Black: You lit the pilot light?
- Caroline Channing: Didn't have to. Look.
- [Max is shocked at the new oven]
- Max Black: No way! The BlueStar in purple! What the- ? How could you afford that? You sold your TAT?
- Caroline Channing: Sold them all. Spent it on the oven, next-day delivery fee, and installation.
- Max Black: That woman gave you a better price?
- Caroline Channing: No, she pulled a gun on me. So I went to every gold store in Brooklyn, leveraged their offers against each other, until I got enough to buy the BlueStar.
- Max Black: You didn't have to do that.
- Caroline Channing: After what I did, There were no more words, only ovens. And our future means more to me than rings from my past. I told you, I'm in this for the long haul. And for the record, I hated lunch with those girls. I'd rather split a Kit-Kat in a bathroom with you any day.
- Max Black: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I was staring at my new boyfriend over there. I want to make out with it!
- [Max excitedly runs over to the new over]
- Max Black: Ha, ha. Mm.
- [Max kisses the oven, burning her lips in the process]
- Max Black: Ow, hot.
- [the oven dings]
- Max Black: There is not a ding.
- Caroline Channing: There's a ding. My rings bought a ding. You want to hug me, don't you?
- Max Black: Yeah.
- Caroline Channing: But you're not gonna.
- Max Black: Yes, I am. But if you unzip my shirt, I'm gonna be pissed! Impressed but pissed.
- [Caroline and Max hug]
- Max Black: [In the ladies room, where they're planning on having a "pop-up sale" on Caroline's rings] Hold up. We've got a pooper in the third stall.
- Caroline Channing: Who shops, and then plops? I mean really!