The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition (2011)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stuart : Leonard, what's the deal with Sheldon's friend Amy? Are they a couple?

  Leonard Hofstadter : A couple of weirdos. Why?

  Howard Wolowitz : You interested in Amy?

  Stuart : Well, she didn't look through me with soul-sucking ball-shriveling hatred and contempt. I like that in a woman.

• Raj Koothrappali : Stuart, help us settle an argument. Who would win in a fight, Billy the Kid or the White Wizard?

  Stuart : I could tell you, but then I would be depriving you of the joy of finding out yourselves at the magical, rootin'-tootin' low price of $24.99.

  Raj Koothrappali : I'll buy one.

  Howard Wolowitz : Make that two.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I hate you both and myself. Make it three.

  Stuart : [Walking to resgister]  Like shooting nerds in a barrel.

• Howard Wolowitz : You know, it's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores instead of just downloading the comics digitally.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's probably for the best. For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here is the only chance their mom has to go down to the basement and change their sheets.

  Howard Wolowitz : Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight, yay!

• Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, can I talk to you about something? It's a little awkward.

  Sheldon Cooper : I know what this is about. Given the professional stand still you're at, you're wondering if this is the appropriate time to abandon your research and focus on teaching.

  [pauses] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes.

• Raj Koothrappali : Wild Bill Witchcock.

  Leonard Hofstadter : A tribe of Abra-Commanches.

  Sheldon Cooper : Flaming Spittoon. And for the record, I'm very disappointed in you cowpokes. We're playing our inaugural round of Wild West and Witches, I'm the only one who bothered to dress for the occasion.

  [spits into a spittoon] 

• Sheldon Cooper : Now, getting back to the problem at hand, what to do with a washed-up experimental physicist.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I am not washed-up.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh Leonard, lots of people love you and want to help you, but they can't until you admit the problem.

• Howard Wolowitz : [playing Wild West and Witches]  Creepy Teepee.

  Raj Koothrappali : Annie Ogreley

  Leonard Hofstadter : Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.