The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition (2011)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stuart : Leonard, what's the deal with Sheldon's friend Amy? Are they a couple?

  Leonard Hofstadter : A couple of weirdos. Why?

  Howard Wolowitz : You interested in Amy?

  Stuart : Well, she didn't look through me with soul-sucking ball-shriveling hatred and contempt. I like that in a woman.

• Howard Wolowitz : Are you telling me that Sheldon's patented combination of condescension and no sex isn't enough to hold onto a woman?

• Raj Koothrappali : Stuart, help us settle an argument. Who would win in a fight, Billy the Kid or the White Wizard?

  Stuart : I could tell you, but then I would be depriving you of the joy of finding out yourselves at the magical, rootin'-tootin' low price of $24.99.

  Raj Koothrappali : I'll buy one.

  Howard Wolowitz : Make that two.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I hate you both and myself. Make it three.

  Stuart : [Walking to resgister]  Like shooting nerds in a barrel.

• Howard Wolowitz : You know, it's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores instead of just downloading the comics digitally.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's probably for the best. For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here is the only chance their mom has to go down to the basement and change their sheets.

  Howard Wolowitz : Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight, yay!

• Howard Wolowitz : I thought you didn't like Facebook anymore.

  Sheldon Cooper : Don't be silly. I'm a fan of anything that tries to replaces actual human contact.

• Howard Wolowitz : This is Billy the Kid we're talking about. The wizard would get shot between the eyes before he could ever get out the words, "What the hell is Billy the Kid doing in the Mystic Realm of Ka'a?".

• Howard Wolowitz : [playing Wild West and Witches]  Creepy Teepee.

  Raj Koothrappali : Annie Ogreley

  Leonard Hofstadter : Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.