The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Speckerman Recurrence (2011)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : Do you want to hear something weird?
Penny : Sure.
Sheldon Cooper : In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was made an honorary Harlem Globetrotter.
Leonard Hofstadter : What are you talking about?
Sheldon Cooper : You asked Penny if she wanted to hear something weird.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, because I have something weird to tell her.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh. I thought it was a game.
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Sheldon Cooper : You know, the holidays are just around the corner. Maybe he wants to see if he can lodge your other testicle up there.
Leonard Hofstadter : I told you, that was a different guy.
Penny : Mm, that's too bad. Could've spent New Year's Eve waiting for the ball to drop.
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Sheldon Cooper : [while they run] You did it, Leonard! You stood up to your bully!
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, I feel pretty good about myself. You think we can outrun him?
Sheldon Cooper : I don't need to outrun him. I just need to outrun you!
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Sheldon Cooper : Okay, Penny, if it were a game, here are your choices: an email from an old acquaintance or the head of one of the largest religious institutions in the world slam-dunking to Sweet Georgia Brown. Pick.
Leonard Hofstadter : Just do it because he's not gonna let it go.
Penny : Basketball Pope.
Sheldon Cooper : And that's how it's done.
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Sheldon Cooper : Is this the fella who peed in your Hawaiian punch?
Leonard Hofstadter : No, that was a different guy.
Sheldon Cooper : Was this the guy who wedgied you so hard your testicle reascended and you spent the whole Christmas break waiting for it to come back down?
Leonard Hofstadter : No, that was a different-different guy.
Sheldon Cooper : Was he the one who used your head to open a nut?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, oh, oh! Was he the one who made you eat your arm hair?
Leonard Hofstadter : No, that... Actually, that was this guy's sister.
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Jimmy : Look at you. Little Leonard Hofstadter. I hear you're a big time scientist now.
Sheldon Cooper : And there's the first zinger. Ouch.
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Sheldon Cooper : [Watching the Nobel Prize ceremonies] Look at these men. They've managed to win the top science prize in the world with no more knowledge of the quantum underpinnings of the expansion of the early universe than God gave a goose. Pay attention, Leonard. That might be you someday.
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Sheldon Cooper : What my spineless friend lacks the courage to say is you're a terrible person who took advantage of his tiny size, his uncoordinated nature, and his congenital lack of masculinity.
Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon...
Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, I platonically love you, man, but face it, you're a mess.
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Sheldon Cooper : "One for good luck." Must be the math they do at Princeton.
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm not going to say I told you so, but we could have killed him.
Leonard Hofstadter : I might kill him right now.
Sheldon Cooper : The Dark Knight has your back. He's scared, but he has your back.
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Leonard Hofstadter : God Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign to my mouth every time I speak?
Sheldon Cooper : You have a sarcasm sign?
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Sheldon Cooper : Better because he is tinier.