- Kamal: SlicePro is top of the line cutlery. Won the bronze at the Homemakers Expo in '98 and then again in '02. The shit's legit.
- Lance Bryant: Don't let Mr. Baldwin get down there by the horse stables. He gets to digging, it'll be a horrible mess.
- Drew: So. you got horses? That's fantastic. I've never actually seen a horse live and in person before. I've always wanted to...
- Lance Bryant: Stables! You hear me say anything about owning a damn horse?
- Agent Granger: How's the old saying go? A good friend will help you move. A great friend will help you move a...
- Drew: ...a body.
- Agent Granger: Exactly.
- Drew: Human trafficking?
- Agent Granger: Yeah. And not your run of the mill, hop in the pick-up, over the border bullshit either. I can't get into details but I'm gonna tell you this- it's a global trafficking organization that specializes in sexual exploitation. Are you familiar with sex slavery?
- Drew: Like mail order brides?
- Agent Granger: No. I don't mean mail order brides. Mail order brides enter that suff by choice. Companies like Foreign Flames dot com. They're actually sanctioned. They got sponsors. They got a website. A webmaster. I'm talking about women, children, and men. Men like you and me. Having sex. Against our free will. You and I in a room performing Caesar salad on the side. Add the chicken, if you know what I mean. That's a position. It's an illicit position that's very common now and has been since 1997.
- Drew: No way. Not Lance. He's a pillar of the community. He made the 40 under 40 list. Twice.
- Agent Granger: 5th grade, merit badge. 9th grade? I put a salamander into a microwave oven. People change.
- Spencer Shaw: What brings you by... .
- Kamal: Kamal.
- Spencer Shaw: Kamal! Excellent name! Kamal with a 'K'. Ah. Kafiristan. Yes, those who tribal among the mountains see themselves within themselves. What brings you by, Kamal?
- Spencer Shaw: So tell me. what is it that you and Drew are doing over at that place?
- Kamal: What?
- Spencer Shaw: I'm just curious. I have a curious bone in me. Two young men in that house. All the luxury at your fingertips. All the opulence.
- Kamal: You know, I can throw in a pair of scissors that can cut through a penny.
- Spencer Shaw: Sold! You've done it again, Kamal! I'll take it. All the knives and the case.
- Kamal: No shit?
- Spencer Shaw: Yes shit. But before we settle up, I'm gonna need to medicate.
- Lance Bryant: And that right there. That motherfucking shit right there. Is what pisses me off more than anything else. You can't just come to me. To my place of residence. To my motherfucking doorstep and expect a handout. A free fucking handout that will not benefit me in any way, shape, or motherfucking form!
- Lance Bryant: Chapter 2. Paragraph 6. Yes. "Those who refuse to work for success are blood sucking leeches." "Leeches who will success-suck you dry unless you annihilate them."
- Spencer Shaw: Hmm. A cowboy. You're saying there's a little bit of cowboy in him. Are you telling me that the basic, fundamental principles of life don't apply to him?
- Spencer Shaw: There's a war raging inside of you right now. You have to battle it. Von Clausewitz teaches us that in our inner self if there is a war, or raging battle, we need to free ourselves. Free yourself!
- Lance Bryant: Okay. So something... Uh, well... Someone may be arriving before I get back. It's a special arrangement. An international arrangement, which could bring about some unfortunate misunderstandings if not handled with a clear and focused mind. You feel me?
- Drew: He's not just some big shot. Lance Bryant happens to be one of the store's biggest customers. The place wouldn't exist without him. And he's also one of the most successful guys in town. He made the 40 under 40 list. Twice.
- Lance Bryant: In summation, if those little bitches come calling and asking for handouts while you're here house sitting... you have the green light... to use THIS on their asses.
- Drew: Uh... We're still talking about girl scouts, right?
- Lance Bryant: Now, this may be air-powered, but let me tell ya something. This can put a hole the size of a grapefruit, through a squirrel, from ninety-yards away.
- Spencer Shaw: Oh, by the way. Just follow the exact sequence on the card I gave you, number-wise, and my phone will ring.