The Critic's past, present and future selves collide causing a temporal paradox that can only be solved by reviewing the 2002 live-action adaptation of Scooby-Doo.The Critic's past, present and future selves collide causing a temporal paradox that can only be solved by reviewing the 2002 live-action adaptation of Scooby-Doo.The Critic's past, present and future selves collide causing a temporal paradox that can only be solved by reviewing the 2002 live-action adaptation of Scooby-Doo.
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Did you know
- TriviaIn preparation for this review, Doug Walker asked his fans on Facebook which movie they would like for him to review. A majority of them said Small Soldiers (1998), a film requested for Walker to review for a while, but he informed his fans that he could not get enough material from that movie for a review and ultimately went with the runner-up, Scooby-Doo (2002). However, Small Soldiers was later reviewed in 2014.
- Quotes
Nostalgia Critic: [extremely agitated] Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic; I remember it so you don't have... What the fuck am I doing? No, really, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? I'll tell ya what I'm doing: "Scooby-Doo", the douche horse movie.
[shows the movie's title]
Nostalgia Critic: Yeah, fuck it. This is what I think of the movie: it fucking sucks, the end!
[end credits start rolling, but the Critic returns, appearing to get out of character]
Nostalgia Critic: No, no, no, I wouldn't do that to you, but at the same time: is this it? Is this really life? No! This isn't life. This isn't even anything even *representing* life. But it's life for me. It's pretty pathetic, but it's all I got. I know what you're saying: "Wow, that's pretty sad." Well, yeah, it is fucking sad. I don't get to go out and hang with friends. I don't even have any friends. I have nobody to contribute anything to. I have nobody to talk to or bounce things off of. You know, it's like "Hey, what'd you think of that? I'll tell you what I think of that." No, it's just me, bitching and moaning, like I always do.
[starts ranting and raving]
Nostalgia Critic: And some might be say that's a sad existence. Well, yeah, it is a pretty sad fucking existence JUST SITTING HERE AND TALK ABOUT "SCOOBY FUCKING DOO"!
[yelling]
Nostalgia Critic: I MEAN FOR GOD'S SAKE, I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING! I've never done anything to make someone's life better! Or... Or... Or GONE AND PLAYED A GAME WITH SOMEBODY! I would LOVE to play a game with somebody! Wouldn't it be great? I mean, somebody's just like, "Hey, why don't you come over and play this game with us?" "What game?" "Parcheesi." I don't know what the fuck people are playing, but you know what? It'd be nice! It'd be nice to be invited! I've never even gone out to a... a bar with somebody, hang with some friends! I've never gone to a... a strip club!
[slightly calmer]
Nostalgia Critic: Okay, I've gone to a couple strip clubs...
[ranting again]
Nostalgia Critic: ... but I've never gone with anybody! I've never been there, and actually been like...
[makes a suggestive gesture]
Nostalgia Critic: ... okay, not with people, but STILL, you know what? It'd be nice! It'd be nice just ONE DAY to go somewhere! Or somebody's just having a good time, and somebody just says outta nowhere, "Hey, you know what? THAT guy was okay! Not great, but he was okay!", instead of, "Hey! Who was that little fuck-shit?"
[yelling]
Nostalgia Critic: WELL, I'LL TELL YA WHO THAT FUCK-SHIT IS! HE'S THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC! HE REMEMBERS IT SO YOU DON'T FUCKING HAVE TO! EVEN THOUGH, EVERY FUCKING DAY HE EXISTS, HE *WISHES* HE DIDN'T HAVE TO! HE *WISHES* HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS *BULLSHIT* TO MAKE YOU WATCH AND GET YOU RATINGS! AND *WHY* DOES IT HAPPEN? WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK? BECAUSE *YOU'RE* FUCKING SICK, AND *I'M* FUCKING STUPID! THAT'S THE WAY IT IS! IT'S THE WAY IT'S *ALWAYS* GONNA BE! THERE IS *NO* CHANGE! THERE IS *NO FUTURE*! THERE IS NO *PAST*! THE *PRESENT* IS A JOKE, EVERYTHING IS *HELL*! MY LIFE IS HELL! *THIS IS THE WORST THING A HUMAN BEING COULD EVER GO THROUGH!*
[lets out a loud, ear-piercing scream before finally calming down]
Nostalgia Critic: So, let's start.
- ConnectionsFeatured in Nostalgia Critic: Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2016)
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Details
- Runtime34 minutes
- Aspect ratio
- 1.78 : 1