- Ryan Howard: I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her. Again, that could change.
- Andy Bernard: I had a lot on my mind last night, and I didn't perform. Okay? It happens to plenty of guys. It's usually not followed by a giant workplace discussion and an interview.
- Dwight Schrute: Oh, and Andy lost his masculinity, so congratulations on that.
- Nellie Bertram: What do you mean?
- Dwight Schrute: Erin made it clear to me that he was unable to perform sexually last night. By contrast, I went to sleep with an erection so large it was like I was wearing no blanket at all. Wow, I knew you'd win, but you just demolished him. I'm a little bit jelaous, actually. Reduced him to a mere ant.
- Jim Halpert: Phyllis says the same twelve clichés every time it rains. So, I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, I will send out for hot chocolates.
- Ryan Howard: Maybe we weren't right together, but, it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?
- Ryan Howard: Um, also, little tip, never shake the baby.
- Jim Halpert: Sorry, just to be clear, you're saying do *not* shake the baby.
- Ryan Howard: Don't shake the baby. Um, a lot of times, parents get frustrated 'cause the baby's crying and they shake the baby. And you gotta... You can't do that.
- Pam Beesly: Don't shake our baby?
- Ryan Howard: Yeah.
- Pam Beesly: Okay. I'd never heard that before. So, thank you. Yeah, I'm glad you said something.
- Ryan Howard: Me too.
- Pam Beesly: I saw you were getting along with Ryan again.
- Kelly Kapoor: He's so sweet. He pointed to my latte and he said, "Kelly, that will be the color of our children."
- Dwight Schrute: You know, my rectal electro-ejaculator is rated for bovine use only, but I could let you rent it.
- Erin Hannon: Maybe we'll get sent to Anger Management together.
- Andy Bernard: That would actually be cool. I'd love for you to meet some of the guys.