- Kermit the Frog: [Miss Piggy breaks Kermit's pelvis during sex] Get off of me, you fucking wildebeest!
- Ryu: [on phone] What's the problem, Guile?
- Guile: I'll tell you the problem: E. Honda's venue is a bathhouse! Like a full-on "We're all guys here, so let's get naked" bathhouse!
- E. Honda: What? In my culture, it's a familiar setting.
- Guile: Hey, no one told me I'd be fighting with all these "sushi rolls" hanging out...
- Ryu: [on phone] What?
- Ken Masters: It's been twenty minutes. I don't think E. Honda's coming.
- Ryu: E. Honda?
- [checks the packet]
- Ryu: You're not fighting E. Honda, you're fighting A Honda.
- Ken Masters: I'm fighting a car?
- Ryu: Yes!
- Ken Masters: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
- Ryu: It was in the packet! You know what? From now on, you lose your packet, you are OUT of the tournament!
- Ken Masters: [sarcastically] Fine, fine! I'm punching the car! Oh, he's not hitting back. How exciting! Wow, what a great idea!
- [gets into it]
- Ken Masters: Hey, this is kind of fun... Shoryuken! Shoryuken!
- Sagat: We meet again, Ryu. Only this time, we fight TO THE DEATH!
- Ryu: Actually, no. It's, uh, to Knock-Out, best two out of three. Remember? It was all covered in the packet.
- Sagat: Uh... sorry, what now?
- Ryu: [pulling out a packet] The packet I spent weeks putting together? You don't have your packet?
- Sagat: Oh, right, right! No, I have it. It's just... it's in the bag...
- [starts searching his bag]
- Ryu: [on phone] Well, Ken, if your opponent's late, you give him a call. There's a contact sheet in the packet.
- Ken Masters: [not looking] Let's see... contact sheet, contact sheet... no, I don't see it. You must've forgotten to put it in.