Modern Family (TV Series)

Mistery Date (2012)

Ed O'Neill: Jay Pritchett

Quotes 

• Jay Pritchett : What the hell is that?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, that's the store mascot. That's Hug-A-Bunny. He goes around and he hugs...

  Jay Pritchett : No, I get it. Nice for flu season. He ought to be called Conjunctivitis Bunny.

• Mitchell Pritchett : Look, dad, I... I had to give up my home office for Lily's bedroom, and I was upset about it, too. Wasn't hugging bunnies, but...

  Jay Pritchett : All right.

  Mitchell Pritchett : I... I realize that it wasn't about an office or a room. It was about how Lily was gonna change everything. But once we got her in there, I don't know. I-I just... I never looked back.

  Jay Pritchett : Yeah, I guess I'm just nervous about everything, you know.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah.

  Jay Pritchett : Thanks, kid. You know, I'm just recalling me grumbling about giving up my MG Roadster when you and Claire came along. Great car. No backseat.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Isn't it funny? The stupid things that we think...

  Jay Pritchett : She was my baby.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [quietly to himself]  ... are so important.

• Mitchell Pritchett : Dad, you're obviously going through something. Look, y-you do not have to go through this alone. I'm here to talk if you want.

  Jay Pritchett : That's really nice of you, Mitchell, but do you wanna do it here? 'Cause I saw a Little Princess table with a tea set on it. You and I could have a real gabfest.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [in testimonial interviews]  Argh! I'm such a blockhead.

  Jay Pritchett : Can't we just get this into the car?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Why? So you're not late for your shrink session?

  Jay Pritchett : What?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah, I picked up on that. Bunny hugger! Saw that, too. Mobile spinner.

  [bumping into Hug-A-Bunny as he leaves] 

  Mitchell Pritchett : I swear to God...

• Jay Pritchett : Okay, Mitch...

  Mitchell Pritchett : Too late. Not interested.

  Jay Pritchett : [locking the car doors]  Now, listen.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna go out the back.

  Jay Pritchett : Doors, sunroof, all on lockdown. Okay, look, that guy you met today, he is a shrink. But I don't see him all the time. Your mom and I saw him a little before the divorce. But every now and then, something comes up for me, and I go in for a tune-up.

  Mitchell Pritchett : If you're waiting for me to ask what's going on with you, you just better keep waiting, 'cause I learned my lesson.

  Jay Pritchett : I'm down about something; something I knew was coming, and now it's finally happening. We're turning my office into the nursery today.

  Mitchell Pritchett : You've been moping around like you lost your platoon over a room?

  Jay Pritchett : Not just a room. It's the only place in this house where I can still close the door and read a book or have a drink. Everything in there was mine. Ah, who cares? Everybody's got their problems.

  Mitchell Pritchett : [as Jay unlocks the doors, he locks them again]  No.

  Jay Pritchett : See, I can still open my door. You just locked yourself back in.

• Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Somebody has to tell you this. No. You try to control everything. You take over people's lives! It's always too much with you!

  Cameron Tucker : You know, maybe we should talk about this out in the hallway.

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Oh, why, because there's gonna be better lighting over there? You're doing it again, Cam. You're doing it again!

  [turning and seeing a mural painted on the nursery wall] 

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Ahh!

  Cameron Tucker : You're right. I am too much. I do control. I do barge. I'll have my friend Abelard come back and paint over it.

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : So this is why you kept me outside all day? So that your friend Aburar could come and paint a present?

  Cameron Tucker : Yeah, rather than getting you a gift off your registry like a normal person. I'm so stupid.

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : I love it!

  Cameron Tucker : You do?

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : It's just like you; full of color... and life... and love.

  Cameron Tucker : Oh, I really did think you'd love it.

  Jay Pritchett : What's going on up here?

  [seeing the mural] 

  Jay Pritchett : What the...

  Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, that was not my idea. I told Cam, I told him that's a lot to put on someone's wall.

  Jay Pritchett : Hold on. I like it.

  Cameron Tucker : Really? Oh...

  Jay Pritchett : Thanks, Cam.

  Mitchell Pritchett : You actually...

  Jay Pritchett : Makes it easier to give up the room.

• Clerk : [bringing the crib Jay bought out]  Here you go. For a small fee, we can come to your house and assemble it for you.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah, my dad's more of a do-it-yourselfer, plus he's not one for strangers in his personal space.

  Clerk : [behind them, Jay tries to keep Hug-A-Bunny from hugging him]  All right. Uh, well, can I help you carry it to your car?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah, he's not gonna go for that, either. The guy won't even use the wheels on his suitcase. Likes everyone to think he's this big, tough guy who...

  [seeing Bunny hugging Jay] 

  Mitchell Pritchett : ...okay. Wow.

  Jay Pritchett : Yo! There he is. All right. Let's get this done.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Hey, dad, you know...

  Jay Pritchett : No, we don't need any help, Mitchell. Just pick up your end.