The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Parking Spot Escalation (2012)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Howard Wolowitz : Hi, Sheldon.

  Sheldon Cooper : [seeing Howard naked on the couch]  AHHHH! He's in my spot. Leonard, make him stop being naked in my spot.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Howard, what are you doing?

  Howard Wolowitz : He wasn't using it, and I needed a nice, cool piece of leather to wiggle my naked ass on.

  Sheldon Cooper : Get off there.

  Howard Wolowitz : Give me back my Iron Man helmet.

  Sheldon Cooper : Give me back my parking space.

  Howard Wolowitz : You don't need a parking space. You don't have a car.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, you don't need an Iron Man helmet. You're not Iron Man.

  Howard Wolowitz : Well, we appear to have reached an impasse. And I have to say, I thought you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk.

  Raj Koothrappali : [to Leonard]  I didn't pick up on that. That's a nice touch.

• Sheldon Cooper : Well, Howard, thank you. It's quite a gesture on your part. You've shown yourself to be the bigger man.

  Howard Wolowitz : Thank you.

  Sheldon Cooper : Which I find totally unacceptable. I must be the bigger man. Therefore, you may use my spot until such time as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile.

  Howard Wolowitz : Wow, okay. Well, thanks. I don't know what to say.

  Sheldon Cooper : There is nothing to say. Except I'm the bigger man. I'm not kidding. Say it.

  Raj Koothrappali : Just say it.

  Howard Wolowitz : You're the bigger man, Sheldon.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, stop. And I believe this is yours. FYI, if you wear that into a bank, they will tackle you to the ground.

• Howard Wolowitz : [arguing with Sheldon]  Are you even listening to yourself?

  Sheldon Cooper : Of course I listen to myself. It's one of the great joys of my life.

• Sheldon Cooper : That's my parking spot.

  Raj Koothrappali : Why do you have a parking spot? You don't have a car. You don't drive.

  Sheldon Cooper : It doesn't matter. That's my spot.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it.

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm not using my nipples either. Maybe they should reassign those.

  Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon, someday, if you get a car, I'm sure they'll give you another parking space.

  Sheldon Cooper : I don't want another parking space. I want my parking space. Well, it's perfect. It's a corner spot, cutting the risk of door dings in half. It's a mere 28 steps from the building entrance. The nearby tree provides shade on hot days, and is also home to a delightful squirrel which is fortuitous because most squirrels are real jerks.

  Howard Wolowitz : Fun story. Meanwhile, you still don't have a car.

  Sheldon Cooper : Don't try to change the subject. This is about a parking space. It has nothing to do with cars.

  Howard Wolowitz : Are you listening to yourself?

  Sheldon Cooper : I always listen to myself. It's one of the great joys of my life. Now get your car out of my spot.