- Principal: There is popular, and then there is too popular.
- Naomi: I don't know what your life was like where you come from, but you're back in high school now. And everyone's looking at you through homecoming glasses. So if you buy a drink between now until New Year's, I swear to gawd, I will punch you in the poon.
- Julia: If you share your secret with me, I will tell you how I hope New Year's never comes because if I never saw my husband again, I think I might not care. Because I feel like, I'm not even done with my twenties, even though I'm basically forty. And if I could get my hands on the book of my life, I would rip out this page and eat it, just to have you inside me.
- Bartender: After he sees you, after he looks you deep in the eyes, he's gonna turn you around, and bend you over and make you a mommy.