Ted 2 (2015)

Steve Callaghan: Comic

Quotes 

• Comic : So first, we need a historical event. Who's got an event?

  Ted : 9/11!

  Comic : Oh oh, okay. Okay, maybe something else. Uh, let's start with a person.

  John : Robin Williams!

  Comic : Okay, alright. For real, guys, for real. Who's got a person?

  Ted : Robin Williams on 9/11!

  Comic : Alright, we've heard from these guys, uh, let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location.

  Ted : The offices of Charlie Hebdo!

  Comic : Okay, seriously, sir, I just need a location.

  John : Ferguson, Missouri!

  Ted : Germanwings cockpit!

  Comic : Okay, I heard Starbucks!

  Ted : No, you didn't!

  John : Nobody said Starbucks.

  Comic : Alright, Starbucks! Okay now, who's in the Starbucks?

  Ted : Bill Cosby!

  Comic : You people are monsters.

  John : We're giving you the tools, buddy! Come on, make some fucking comedy!