- Kevin Malone: [Speaking to camera] This is a documentary? Oh. I always thought we were like specimens in a human zoo.
- Clark: Dude, we're being conned.
- Dwight Schrute: Go on.
- Clark: These chicks are way too hot to be into us. Esther's just pretending to like you so that you'll buy her daddy a new tractor.
- Dwight Schrute: No.
- Clark: Yes. Her sister's trying to seduce me into buying an auger with her.
- Dwight Schrute: What? Has the warranty expired on the auger you have now?
- Angela Martin-Lipton: How much have you revealed on camera about your relationship with the Senator.
- Oscar Martinez: They caught us kissing on Halloween,
- Angela Martin-Lipton: [gasps] He was dressed like Ronald Reagan!
- [slaps Oscar]
- Oscar Martinez: Ow! Angela! Well, he kissed like Ted Kennedy.
- [Angela slaps him again]
- Dwight Schrute: Maybe you're right. Esther is a 10, and the best I've ever done is Angela, who's a 9, and she rejected me.
- Clark: A Scranton 9, but, you know, point taken. Hey, let's go out tonight and just score a couple of 4s, huh? I mean, there are no games with 4s.