Real Husbands of Hollywood (TV Series)

Trick'd (2013)

Kevin Hart: Self

Quotes 

• Kevin Hart : [to Trina]  This - This is getting sad. No trust means no relationship. I don't know that girl!

  [in confessional] 

  Kevin Hart : I know exactly who that is. Me and Charmagne are what you would call, uh, "secretly dating." She's a bank teller/gangster rapper. A straight up bangster. That's what we call them in the business. See, as you can tell, I'm one of those guys who likes to keep it real, which is why I met her. You want to know what else is real?

  [holds up an erotic picture of Charmagne in a bikini] 

  Kevin Hart : This. That's why I'm in trouble. Guess I'd better go handle that.

• Charmagne : Why do the bank robbers got my money, Kevin? Huh? How do the bank robbers got my money? My baby is gonna need a tattoo!

  Kevin Hart : A tattoo on what? The baby's a fetus!

• Kevin Hart : Listen to me. Listen to me! Stop, stop! Stop walking! Stop it! Stop!

  [voice breaking] 

  Kevin Hart : You have no idea what my day's been like today, okay? I'm at a bank, I get my - robber - money taken and stuff, I'm out here in the...

  Charmagne : Kevin, are you crying?

  Kevin Hart : No... my allergies just act up when I get sad.

• Kevin Hart : I'd like to make a withdrawal... two months ago.

  Charmagne : What are you doing here, Kevin?

  Kevin Hart : I'm here because you called my lawyer talking about your nonsense about you being pregant.

  Charmagne : It ain't no nonsense, okay, I am pregnant. And I'm gonna need some money, Kevin, all right? My baby needs diapers, clothes, studio time...

  Kevin Hart : Studio time?

  Charmagne : Mm-hmm.

  Kevin Hart : What the hell? Are you trying to tell me the baby rapping already?

  Charmagne : That's where it happened, and don't act like you don't remember.

  Kevin Hart : Hey, lower your voice! You're putting my business out here in this bank.

  Charmagne : You're gonna have to pay me, all right? Or I'm gonna let all of the blocks know about our baby, all right? And I'm gonna send that video in of you sounding like a little punk. I keep "Media Takeout" on speed dial, boo, okay?

  Kevin Hart : Listen...

  Charmagne : So meet me tonight at the boathouse by the lake with $100,000.

  Kevin Hart : $100,000?

  Charmagne : That's what I said.

  Kevin Hart : Oh, you done bumped your big ass head. I ain't giving you no $100,000. I just gave you $90,000 to produce your last mixed tape with Dre! You forgot about that?

  Charmagne : Okay, so, you know what? You want to play? You want to play with me? Okay, I got you.

  [yelling] 

  Charmagne : Look, everybody!

  Kevin Hart : Whoa...

  Charmagne : Kevin Hart is a little freak with a little...

  Kevin Hart : Hey - hey, girl! Hey, girl! Put it down! Lower it!