The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Hofstadter Insufficiency (2013)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : Tell me something about you I don't know.

  Sheldon Cooper : I own nine pairs of pants.

  Penny : Okay, that-that's a good start, but I was thinking maybe something a little more personal.

  Sheldon Cooper : I see.

  Penny : Mm.

  Sheldon Cooper : I own nine pairs of underpants.

• Sheldon Cooper : Here's something else you don't know about me. You just hurt my feelings.

  Penny : What'd I do?

  Sheldon Cooper : I opened up and shared something deeply upsetting to me. And you treated it as if it were nothing.

  Penny : I-I didn't think it was a big deal.

  Sheldon Cooper : It is to me. That's the point.

  Penny : Sheldon, you are right. I'm really sorry. I should've known better.

  Sheldon Cooper : Your apology is accepted.

  Penny : Thank you. How about a hug?

  [holds out her arms] 

  Sheldon Cooper : [holds out his hand]  How about a hearty handshake?

  Penny : Come on.

  [pulls him into a hug. Sheldon pats her back awkwardly] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Now I know how you felt, getting mauled by that sex-crazed gorilla.

• [first lines] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : [on phone on deck of ship in storm]  Sheldon! It's not a great time. What do you want?

  Sheldon Cooper : Hello to you too. I'm sorry, but this is important.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What is it?

  Sheldon Cooper : Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case, and Back to the Future 3 was, get this, in the Back to the Future 2 case.

  Leonard Hofstadter : So?

  Sheldon Cooper : So... Did you do that, or am I in the house with an intruder?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, I've got to go inside. It's getting rough out here.

  Sheldon Cooper : You're dodging the question. I knew it was you. What was that?

  Leonard Hofstadter : What was what?

  Sheldon Cooper : This isn't a very good connection, but it sounded like someone just released a kraken.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, I'm hanging up now. You know there is no such thing as a kraaaa...

• Penny : His is ridiculous, why am I upset just because he's off having a good time?

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, perhaps you're obsessively picturing him engaged in drunken coitus with another woman.

  [Penny stares at him angrily] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Is that it? Did I get it right?

• Sheldon Cooper : Here is a hot beverage to comfort you. It's in a to-go cup. Make of that what you will.

• Penny : I can't believe it. All this time I've been doing nothing but sit around and miss that guy. And you know what the worst part is?

  Sheldon Cooper : That you're having to process your emotional pain without vodka?

  Penny : No!

  [pause] 

  Penny : Yeah.

• Penny : Here's something people do not know about me. When I first moved out to L.A. I did a topless scene in a low-budget horror movie about a killer gorilla. After I did it I felt so ashamed. Thankfully, that thing never came out.

  Sheldon Cooper : Ah, I've seen that! Yeah. 'Serial Apeist'.

  [Penny gasps in horror] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Howard found it on line the day we met you.

  Penny : Ohh!

  Sheldon Cooper : It was literally the moment you walked out the door.

• Penny : No. Come on, let's talk about our lives. Tell me something about you I don't know.

  Sheldon Cooper : I own nine pairs of pants.

  Penny : Okay, that, that's a good start, but I was thinking maybe something a little more personal.

  Sheldon Cooper : I see. I own nine pairs of underpants.

  Penny : How about I go first?

  Sheldon Cooper : But I don't want to know how many underpants you own. Although, based on the floor of your bedroom, I'd say it's a thousand.

  Penny : Okay, look, here's something people do not know about me. When I first moved out to L.A., I did a topless scene in a low-budget horror movie about a killer gorilla. Ugh! After I did it, I felt so ashamed. Thankfully, that thing never came out.

  Sheldon Cooper : I've seen that. Yeah. Serial Apeist. Howard found it online the day we met you.

  Penny : Oh, God.

  Sheldon Cooper : And it was literally the moment you walked out the door. But I see the type of personal revelations you're going for. Okay, here's one I thought I'd take to the grave.

  Penny : Okay.

  Sheldon Cooper : Hmm. A while back, YouTube changed its user interface from a star-based rating system to a thumbs-up rating system. I tell people I'm okay with it, but I'm really not.

  Penny : That's your big revelation?

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes. Whew, I feel ten pounds lighter.

• Sheldon Cooper : Welcome to the exciting world of 3-D chess.

  Penny : Why don't you admit you only want to play this game because you always play with Leonard and you miss him?

  Sheldon Cooper : You over estimate his significance in my life.

  Penny : MMMM.

  Sheldon Cooper : Do I miss how he makes a face on my toaster waffle with syrup. No. Do I miss the way he fixes the zipper on my jacket when it gets stuck? I don't think so. Do I miss how we say good night to each other through the walls of our bedroom using Morse code?

  [Knocks "no" in Morse Code] 

  Penny : OK, I get it. I get it. You're an emotionless robot.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, I try.

• Penny : What's the matter?

  Sheldon Cooper : Um... Well, I was worried that you might be missing Leonard. And that might be causing you to have bad dreams. Like the kind you'd get if you watched 'Clash of the Titans' right before you went to bed.

• Sheldon Cooper : I want you to be happy too, but not enough to do anything about it.