Silicon Valley (TV Series)

Minimum Viable Product (2014)

T.J. Miller: Erlich Bachman

Quotes 

• Erlich : What do you got?

  Pitcher : Okay, here it is. Bit Soup, like alphabet soup but ones and zeros instead of the letters. Cause binary... Binary is ones and zeros.

  Erlich : I know what binary is. Jesus Christ! I memorized the hexadecimal times tables when I was 14 writing machine code, okay? Ask me what 9 times F is. It's fleventyfive. I don't need you telling me what binary is, just like I don't need you thinking about soup or taking pictures of it. I need you thinking about apps, software and websites. This is Silicon Valley, not...

  Erlich : [uses his phone] 

  Erlich : Paris, Texas... which is where Campbell's Soup is.

• Erlich : You guys taking it all in? Because this is what it looks like when Google acquires your company for over 200 million dollars. Look Dustin Moskovitz. Elon Musk. Eric Schmidt. Whatever the fuck the guy's name is who created Photrio. I mean, Kid Rock is the poorest person here. Apart from you guys.

• Richard : [at a party celebrating the sale of an IT company to Google for $200 million]  It's amazing how the men and women at these things always separate like this.

  Dinesh : Yeah, every party in Silicon Valley ends up like a Hasidic wedding.

  Big Head : Not even the Goolybib guys were talking to girls.

  Erlich : They don't have to, Big Head. This house talks to girls.

• Erlich : When I sold my company, Aviato, I wanted to give back. That's why I started this place, to do something big. To make a difference. You know, like Steve.

  Richard : Uh, Jobs or Wozniak?

  [Erlich looks at him] 

  Richard : Steve Jobs or Steve...

  Erlich : Oh, I heard you.

  Richard : Which one?

  Erlich : Jobs.

  Richard : I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.

• Erlich : Richard, if you want to live here, you've got to deliver. I can't have dead weight at my Incubator, ok? Either that, or show some promise for fuck's sake. Like NipAlert, Big Head's app. It gives you the location of a woman with erect nipples. Now, that's something people want.