The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Romance Resonance (2013)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leonard Hofstadter : I do romantic things for you all the time; can you even name one romantic thing you've done for me?

  Penny : I can name tons!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sex doesn't count.

  Penny : Oh.

  [thinks] 

  Penny : I know; what about that bed and breakfast?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Well, I took you there. All you did wa...

  Penny : I know what I did.

  [pause] 

  Penny : I bet they had to throw out that rocking chair.

• Penny : How come you've never done anything romantic to celebrate our first date?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, for starters, you've broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?

  Sheldon Cooper : Ooh, somebody call the burn ward.

• [sung lyrics to "If I Didn't Have You aka Bernadette's Song"] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [verse 1]  If I didn't have you, life would be blue. I'd be Doctor Who without the TARDIS.

  Sheldon Cooper : [spoken aside to Amy about Bernadette]  Is it me, or does she not look so good?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : [spoken aside back to Sheldon]  Shhh!

  Howard Wolowitz : [continuation of verse 1]  A candle without a wick, a Watson without a Crick, I'd be one of my outfits without a dicky. I'd be cheese without the mac, Jobs without the Wozniak, I'd be solving exponential equations that use bases not found on your calculator making them much harder to crack. I'd be an atom without a bomb, a dot without the com, and I'd probably still live with my mom.

  Sheldon Cooper , Amy Farrah Fowler , Leonard Hofstadter , Penny , Raj Koothrappali : And he'd probably still live with his mom.

  Howard Wolowitz : [chorus 1]  Ever since I met you, you turned my world around. You supported all my dreams and all my hopes. You're like uranium-235, and I'm uranium-238; almost inseparable isotopes. I couldn't have imagined how good my life would get, from the moment that I met you, Bernadette.

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : [spoken]  Oh, Howie!

  Howard Wolowitz : [verse 2]  If I didn't have you, life would be dreary. I'd be string theory without any string. I'd be binary code without a one, a cathode ray tube without an electron gun. I'd be Firefly, Buffy and Avengers without Joss Whedon. I'd speak a lot more Klingon, Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam.

  Sheldon Cooper , Amy Farrah Fowler , Leonard Hofstadter , Penny , Raj Koothrappali : And he'd definitely still live with his mom.

  Howard Wolowitz : [chorus 2]  Ever since I met you, you turned my world around. You're my best friend and my lover. We're like changing electric and magnetic fields, you can't have one without the other. I couldn't have imagined how good my life would get, from the moment that I met you, Bernadette.

  Howard Wolowitz , Sheldon Cooper , Amy Farrah Fowler , Leonard Hofstadter , Penny , Raj Koothrappali : Oh, we couldn't have imagined how good our lives would get, from the moment that we met you, Bernadette.

• Sheldon Cooper : Stop it! I don't need to take this admiration from the likes of you people. How do I make them stop loving me?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Invite them to live with us.

• Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, this is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Every science classroom, every periodic table, every textbook, this mistake will be staring back at me, like that time you let Koothrappali wax your eyebrows. I've got to find a way to stop this thing.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Buddy, I don't think you can. I mean, once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.

  Sheldon Cooper : You know, frankly I'd prefer a sex tape.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?

  Sheldon Cooper : No.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, I get that you feel bad about all the attention, but still what you did is amazing. We're really proud of you.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I'm not.

  Sheldon Cooper : You're not?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon, I've been thinking about it, and you're right. You don't deserve any credit. All you did was misread some numbers on a table. A very easy table, too. Honestly, I'm embarrassed for you.

  Sheldon Cooper : That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

  Penny : Dammit, everyone's better at this than me.

  Sheldon Cooper : Congratulations, Dr. Fowler, you just made the fort.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Yes!

  [Smiles] 

• Penny : You know, I can be romantic if I want to.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's fine. And also not true.

  Penny : OK, just you wait and see; I'm going to romance your fricking ass off.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That's beautiful- is that Shakespeare?

• [first lines] 

  Penny : What're you working on?

  Sheldon Cooper : Can't talk. In the zone.

  Penny : [to Amy]  Do you know what he's doing?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Could be anything. Last time he was like this he figured out electron transport in graphene. Time before that he was making a list of who's allowed in his tree fort if he ever gets one. Still can't believe I didn't make the cut.

  Penny : Uh, Sheldon, you wanna take a break? Your food's ready.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Eh, what are you doing? He's both happy and quiet. Like seeing a unicorn and Bigfoot at the same time.

• Sheldon Cooper : I'm being given credit that I don't deserve.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, people get things they don't deserve all the time. Look at me with you.

• Leonard Hofstadter : I have to say this is the best Top Ramen you've ever made.

  Penny : I discovered a secret ingredient. The flavor packet. That sucker is well named. All right, lover boy. Get ready, fcause there is a crap storm of romance coming your way.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Stop it, you're going to make me cry.

  [Penny turns on romantic music] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : All right. You seem pretty confident.

  Penny : Oh, I am. Maybe if you follow this trail, you'll see why.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Ohhh, rose petals.

  Penny : Yes. The most beautiful, and shockingly expensive, of all the flowers.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You made the bed; you really are pulling out all the stops.

  Penny : OK, I gave this a lot of thought, and I finally found something to show you how much I love you.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [he unwraps the gift]  Oh, wow.

  Penny : It's a first edition of "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". I remember it was your favorite book growing up.

  Leonard Hofstadter : This is great. It... Thank you. Hnh... So much.

  Penny : What?

  Penny : Nothing. I love it.

  Penny : No. Something's going on. What's wrong with it? I remember you saying how great it would be to have a first edition.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's true. I-I did, I did say that... when we were at the used book store together, and I saw the first edition and I bought it.

  Penny : Oh my God. I am the worst.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's okay. It's really thoughtful.

  Penny : No, it's not... I mean... What's thoughtful is everything you do. Here, you know what? Look at this. Look, here's the... the plane ticket you bought me when I was too poor to go home for the holidays. And the rose you left on my windshield... just because. Here's the... the thank-you letter you wrote me after the first time I slept with you. All eleven pages of it.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Can't believe you saved all this stuff.

  Penny : Of course I did. It's you.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Come here.

  Penny : Mm

  [they kiss] 

  Penny : Oh.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Is that a pregnancy test?

  Penny : Oh yeah, just the first one; I didn't save them all.

• Penny : Boy, Bernadette is gonna love this.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh yeah, it must be nice for someone to do something so romantic.

  Penny : Okay, you know what's not romantic? Rubbing it in someone's face

  Leonard Hofstadter : Actually, it can be, but I told you sex doesn't count.