- Sherlock Holmes: It was me. I slept with your friend - ravaged, actually... She has a beauty mark here, she has size six feet, she bites her nails and thankfully nothing else.
- Sherlock Holmes: Sometimes, Watson, when one wants a diamond, one must resort to digging in a diamond mine.
- Dr. Joan Watson: For future reference, a morgue is not a diamond mine.
- Sherlock Holmes: It's better. Diamonds are just pressed coal; corpses have stories, secrets.
- Dr. Joan Watson: You seduced her!
- Sherlock Holmes: Actually, it was she who initiated our dalliance. She's an aggressive and I may say, limber woman, your friend.
- [Sherlock and Joan are examining corpses in the city morgue, looking for a homicide the coroner may have missed]
- Dr. Joan Watson: Oh-for-nineteen, I think it's time to call it a day. I'm getting hungry, and that is *not* something that should be happening in here!
- Sherlock Holmes: Your friend would be better off employing a gigolo than a private detective. She'd be amazed at how cheaply a night of anonymous abandon can be had. Is she attractive? I might be able to provide the service myself free of charge.