The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Occupation Recalibration (2014)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : How did she get you to do yoga?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.
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Sheldon Cooper : What if there's a big breakthrough in science today and I'm not there to see it?
Leonard Hofstadter : Do you really think there's going to be a breakthrough without you there to do it?
Sheldon Cooper : No. I was just tricking you.
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Penny : Why can't Leonard understand it?
Sheldon Cooper : Because he's not like us, Penny. We're dreamers.
Penny : Yeah, I need to start cracking the window when I leave you in the car.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I thought we were in the kind of relationship where we make decisions together. If I'm wrong, then maybe we need to talk about the kind of relationship we're actually in.
Penny : Yeah, well, maybe we do.
Sheldon Cooper : I'm willing to if you guys are.
Leonard Hofstadter : Can we please have some privacy?
Sheldon Cooper : No, I'm as much a part of this relationship as you two, and I think it's high time we put all our cards on the table. For example, where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Penny?
Penny : Okay, wait. What are we doing?
Leonard Hofstadter : For some reason, we're planning a future where we both live with a Sheldon forever.
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Penny : I know you think I'm being reckless, and you might be right, but I need to take this shot!
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, no kidding. Despite what it says on her resume she is no longer 22.
Leonard Hofstadter : I swear, I am on your side.
Penny : You keep saying you're on my side, but you don't act like it.
Sheldon Cooper : He does that to me too. Why do we put up with it?
Leonard Hofstadter : Listen. I could never do what you're doing, okay? I would be terrified.
Penny : Well, it's scary for me too.
Sheldon Cooper : I'm fine with it.
Leonard Hofstadter : My point is, just because I couldn't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. And I'm proud of you.
Penny : Okay. Thank you.
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Sheldon Cooper : Where's my lemonade?
Penny : I didn't get it.
Sheldon Cooper : A fitting swan song to your career as a waitress; to forget my order one last time.
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Man V.O. : Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful place.
Sheldon Cooper : All right. I'm at the Hadron Supercollider.
Man V.O. : Now breathe in...
[Sheldon inhales]
Man V.O. : ... and out.
Sheldon Cooper : Wow. Didn't see that coming.
Man V.O. : Once again. In...
Sheldon Cooper : [Inhales] Let me guess.
Man V.O. : ...and out.
Sheldon Cooper : What was I going to do, two ins in a row?
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Sheldon Cooper : I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals.
Penny : Yeah, well, I don't think we're going to get to do that today.
Sheldon Cooper : Too bad. Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze.
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[first lines]
Sheldon Cooper : It's an outrage!
Leonard Hofstadter : I know.
Sheldon Cooper : The university, they think they can do whatever they want; we just have to sit there and take it.
Leonard Hofstadter : You need to let it go, Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper : You work tirelessly for someone and this is what you get.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh my God!
[shouting]
Leonard Hofstadter : They're just making you use your vacation days.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, I don't want a vacation.
Leonard Hofstadter : Listen, I don't mean to diminish what you're going through, but I'm a little distracted right now.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, this *again*! So Penny proposed. You didn't say yes, and now you think you may have lost her love forever. How does this compare to my being forced to relax fora few days?
Leonard Hofstadter : [shouting] It doesn't!
Sheldon Cooper : Thank you!
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm going to go talk to Penny.
Sheldon Cooper : I'm going to go inside, put on my coziest pajamas, curl up with a good book and wait for this nightmare to be over.
[Leonard knocks three times on Penny's door]
Sheldon Cooper : Penny.
[they stare at each other]
Sheldon Cooper : Sorry.
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Penny : Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
Sheldon Cooper : Leonard told me to stay.
Penny : Oh. Well, good boy.