- Narrator: Kids, I must've heard your Mom's rendition of La Vie En Rose a million times over the years, every night when she tucked you in, for instance. But that performance, that first night I ever heard her sing, that one will always be my favorite.
- The Mother: Hi Max, it's me. Sorry to interrupt, I know you're probably up there playing baseball with your Dad. Um look, I've got a situation here. I think that I've been holding myself back from falling in love again and I think it's because I can't let you go but
- [nearly breaks down]
- The Mother: you're not here anymore, so... I have to ask this. Would it be okay if I moved on? I realize that you have no way of answering that, but
- [feels sudden gust of wind]
- The Mother: okay. I'll take that as a yes. In that case, I should get back in there.
- [moves to door, but]
- The Mother: I guess this is it. For real this time... Bye, Max.
- Louis: MacLaren's. The last time I was here, I thought this place was called Puzzles.
- The Mother: That's an odd name. Why would you call a bar Puzzles? Unless, that's the puzzle.
- The Mother: What's wrong? Are you okay?
- Cindy: We broke up.
- The Mother: Oh well, I never liked him, and I never thought he deserved you, and I am sorry, I didn't know you were dating someone. Who was this?
- Cindy: He was the architecture professor. The one who taught Econ 305 by accident.
- The Mother: Oh. That guy? Why did you break up?
- Cindy: He's got a thing for you.
- The Mother: What? Yeah, what? He's what? How um, how could he have a thing for me? He's never even met me.
- Cindy: He didn't have to. Everything he saw of yours, he went crazy for.
- The Mother: You should've brought him to my room. Okay? He would've run screaming once he saw my calligraphy set, my coin collection, my chain-mail corset from the Renaissance Faire. No, that's pretty cool.
- The Mother: [Mitch is performing his move, "The Naked Man"] What are you doing?
- Mitch: [Trying to be seductive] I don't know. What am I doing?
- The Mother: I don't know! What are you doing?
- Mitch: This is my thing...
- The Mother: It most certainly is your thing! Now, please cover your thing up.
- The Mother: [singing] One tasty English muffin Baby, that is what I am Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da! One tasty English muffin with some raspberry jam.
- The Mother: Come live with me. My roommate just moved out.
- Cindy: Are you sure? You just met me. I could be a serial killer.
- The Mother: I like to believe in people. Plus, what are the chances that we're both serial killers?
- The Mother: Is this what dating in New York is going to be like? Even the nice guys turn out to be total creeps?
- Mitch: I have gotten pretty creepy since I got here.
- Kelly: It's Saint Patrick's Day, the holiday of my people.
- The Mother: You're not Irish.
- Kelly: Binge Drinkers.
- The Mother: Okay, here it is. I haven't played this since the popular girls locked me inside the case. Although it was roomier than when I played the violin.
- Darren: I saw your ad for the roommate, and I just I-I really wanted to meet you. I-I'm a huge fan of your band SuperFreakonomics.
- The Mother: Oh, my gosh, really?
- Darren: Really, come I to all your shows, and I'm not just saying this - I think you guys are the best economic-themed band in the entire city.
- The Mother: Even better than Radiohedge Fund?