- Riley Matthews: Do you remember your first date with Dad?
- Topanga Matthews: Aw. We were two years old we played in the playground. No, we were eight, and we caught fireflies. No, we were in sixth grade and we kissed against the lockers. No, we threw socks into a laundry basket. No, we fell into a llama pen at the zoo. No... that was his first date with Shawn.
- Farkle Minkus: The way I see it, I'm in an interesting position here.
- Cory Matthews: How do you figure, Farkle?
- Farkle Minkus: Let's approach this as a scientific equation. You're scared of Lucas going out with Riley, right?
- Cory Matthews: Oh, does it show?
- Farkle Minkus: Yeah, he's good looking and athletic.
- Cory Matthews: He's 36!
- Farkle Minkus: Girls have it easy.
- Lucas Friar: Yeah. We gotta do all of the asking.
- Farkle Minkus: All they have to do is say "no."
- Lucas Friar: Well, they could say "yes."
- Farkle Minkus: They can do that?
- Lucas Friar: Mr. Matthews, would it be possible to speak to you alone?
- Cory Matthews: About homework?
- Lucas Friar: No.
- Cory Matthews: About a grade?
- Lucas Friar: No.
- Cory Matthews: Then this has nothing to do with me and you've come to the wrong place. Good day!
- Lucas Friar: Actually...
- Cory Matthews: I said good day, sir!
- Lucas Friar: But I need to talk to you.
- Cory Matthews: Is this about a historical event? I can only speak to you about historical events.
- Lucas Friar: Yes.
- Cory Matthews: Well, then go right ahead.
- Lucas Friar: I'm asking your permission to ask out your daughter.
- Cory Matthews: You tricked me!
- Lucas Friar: That's right, I lied right in yo' face.
- Riley Matthews: Lucas?
- Lucas Friar: [pauses] Go over there, Riley. Be with your best friend.
- Riley Matthews: But what about our date?
- Lucas Friar: I had a good time.
- Riley Matthews: I'm glad you were my first date.
- Cory Matthews: You!
- Lucas Friar: [mimicking Cory] Me!
- Cory Matthews: Auggie's not home.
- Lucas Friar: Yeah, I'm not here to see Auggie.
- Cory Matthews: Riley's not home either.
- Riley Matthews: [she and Maya are standing right behind Cory] Hi, Lucas.
- Cory Matthews: That's right, I lied right in yo' face!
- [Riley recreates the first time she met Lucas, falling over him at the subway]
- Riley Matthews: Hi, I'm Riley. We were just talking about you.
- Lucas Friar: I'm Lucas.
- Riley Matthews: I love it. You know those moments we were talking about that we're going to remember forever?
- Lucas Friar: Yeah?
- Riley Matthews: This is one of them.
- [kisses Lucas briefly on the mouth]
- Riley Matthews: So are you feeling better about my uncle Josh?
- Maya Hart: No, that's just another lump of coal buried deep in my dungeon of sadness next to my daddy issues and ballerina dreams
- Topanga Matthews: I didn't know that you dream of being a ballerina
- Maya Hart: I don't I dream of ballerinas kicking me with their pointy toes while they're stabbing me in the face with their bun heads.