The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Proton Transmogrification (2014)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : Arthur. I thought you were dead.
Arthur Jeffries : I am. It's fantastic. I mean this is the longest I've gone without running into a men's room in years.
Sheldon Cooper : Why are you here?
Arthur Jeffries : I don't know. I was hoping I was going to haunt my ex-wife.
Sheldon Cooper : I know why. You've come to me because you're my Obi Wan.
Arthur Jeffries : I'm not... I'm not familiar with that... Is that an internet?
Sheldon Cooper : Wow. You're dead so I'm gonna let that slide. Obi Wan Kenobi is a character from Star Wars. After his physical demise he comes to Luke Skywalker as his mentor in spirit form.
Arthur Jeffries : Well, that clears that up.
Sheldon Cooper : You must be here to give me advice.
Arthur Jeffries : [Appears in Obi Wan Kenobi Jedi robes] Well this... this is weird. Most of my robes open in the back.
Sheldon Cooper : Those are your Jedi robes.
Arthur Jeffries : Oh wait... what? What... what is this?
[Activates light saber]
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, be careful with that!
Arthur Jeffries : Whoa. Whoa. Oh, neato.
[Waves light saber around]
Arthur Jeffries : I'm uh. I'm going to need a band-aid.
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Sheldon Cooper : When Obi Wan came to Luke on this very spot he gave him all sorts of helpful advice. So, um, what have you got for me?
Arthur Jeffries : Um, always get a pre-nup.
Sheldon Cooper : That's it? I thought there would be more of a reason why you are here.
Arthur Jeffries : Why do you think I'm here?
Sheldon Cooper : I suppose it has something to do with your recent passing.
Arthur Jeffries : Is this the first time you lost someone close to you?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh no, no. I already had to say good-bye to eleven Dr. Who's.
Arthur Jeffries : Yeah, I out lived a few of my doctors, too.
Sheldon Cooper : Of course my grandfather died when I was five and my father died when I was fourteen.
Arthur Jeffries : I'm sorry about that.
Sheldon Cooper : And now you're gone too. It's like all the men I've looked up to have gone away.
Arthur Jeffries : You know it's all right to be sad about it, but just make sure appreciate those who are still there for you.
Sheldon Cooper : But I do appreciate them.
Arthur Jeffries : Well then what am I doing in the swamp dressed like Friar Tuck? Appreciate them Sheldon.
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Arthur Jeffries : Where are we?
Sheldon Cooper : This is the swamp land of Degobah. It's where Luke was trained in the ways of the Jedi.
Arthur Jeffries : Oh, too bad. I thought it was Florida.
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Sheldon Cooper : Gentlemen, since Star Wars' Day is rapidly approaching we should finalize our plans.
Penny : That's a real thing? What is it? Star Wars' Christmas?
Howard Wolowitz : No, don't be ridiculous. That's Wookie Life Day.
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Sheldon Cooper : What are you doing?
Leonard Hofstadter : Comforting you?
Sheldon Cooper : Your heart might be in the right place, but your head, chest and arms certainly aren't.
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Sheldon Cooper : Well why do I need you now?
Arthur Jeffries : Well as near as I can tell you fell asleep watching Star Wars and now you're dreaming you're watching Star Wars.
Sheldon Cooper : So?
Arthur Jeffries : Don't you see a problem there? I mean how you're spending your limited time on Earth.
Sheldon Cooper : Not at all.
Arthur Jeffries : OK. Good luck to you.
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Sheldon Cooper : When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?
Penny : No, he blew up the Death Star! Why do I even know this?
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm not going to the funeral... All those people blowing their noses. You can't tell the sick from the sad. I'll be at home celebrating Star Wars Day, as planned.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Are you sure you don't want to go say good-bye?
Sheldon Cooper : Amy, mourning the inevitable is a complete waste of time.
Amy Farrah Fowler : And watching a bunch of goofy space movies you've seen hundreds of times isn't?
Sheldon Cooper : If we were in a physical relationship, you just lost sex tonight.
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Penny : [about Star Wars Day] So, when is it?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, it's not May the 5th, and it's not May the 3rd... it's May the 4th.
Sheldon Cooper : Get it?
Raj Koothrappali : May the fourth be with you?
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm working on a Star Wars Day schedule. I have a window built in after Phantom Menace for complaining, but I'm worried an hour won't be enough.