The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Conjugal Conjecture (2016)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary Cooper : They're practising for what's coming later.
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[first lines]
Sheldon Cooper : Leonard! Leonard!
Leonard Hofstadter : What?
Sheldon Cooper : You realize you and I could become brothers?
Leonard Hofstadter : We're not going to be brothers; we're not going to be step-brothers. Go to sleep.
Sheldon Cooper : I hope you're right, 'cause a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.
Leonard Hofstadter : Go to sleep.
Sheldon Cooper : OK.
[pause]
Sheldon Cooper : You think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny Hofstadter : Your parents are old; anything unspeakable was finished by .9:30. Go to sleep.
Sheldon Cooper : Very well.
Leonard Hofstadter : [quietly to Penny] I'm sorry if this stuff is going to make the ceremony awkward.
Penny Hofstadter : Ah, I thought my brother fresh out of jail was going to make everyone uncomfortable, but now this...
Sheldon Cooper : Hey, if you want me to sleep, you're going to have to stop talking.
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Sheldon Cooper : So did you defile my mother or not?
Mary Cooper : Sheldon! You're bein' rude!
Dr. Alfred Hofstadter : If I may, I can assure you your mother and I did nothing more than share a cab and a conversation.
Sheldon Cooper : Did that conversation include the phrase 'your genitals are a joy to behold'?
Mary Cooper : That's enough!
Dr. Alfred Hofstadter : Look, I promise you neither I nor anyone has ever said that;
Leonard Hofstadter : You don't know his girlfriend very well.
Sheldon Cooper : Or what a joy it is to behold my genitals.
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Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : I don't see why I have to watch your father parade around with some bible-thumping bumpkin.
Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me, that's my mother you're talking about, however accurately.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : You'll be at the airport an hour before your flight.
Mary Cooper : Good.
Sheldon Cooper : Plenty of time for you to meet another geriatric boy toy.
Mary Cooper : Hey! I will not have you be disrespectful to me.
Sheldon Cooper : Yes ma'am.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon, your mother's an attractive woman. You need to get used to the fact that men are going to be interested in her.
Sheldon Cooper : And you need to drive the car and mind your business.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I will not have you be disrespectful to me.
Sheldon Cooper : You're not my mother.
Mary Cooper : Don't you be disrespectful to her!
Sheldon Cooper : Yes ma'am.