- Howard Wolowitz: Even professional pitchers need a rubdown after the game.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: If you were throwing an actual ball. You were throwing air at a TV.
- Howard Wolowitz: For your information, I also gave Leonard one hell of a high five.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I've seen you two sit next to each other doing different things.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's called parallel play.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Toddlers do that.
- Sheldon Cooper: Not as well as we do.
- Leonard Hofstadter: A relationship is not something you can quantify.
- Sheldon Cooper: Everything is quantifiable. This french fry? A seven. Spider-Man? A nine. The number nine? Oddly enough, a four.
- Leonard Hofstadter: How ridiculous is he?
- Penny: A hundred.
- Raj Koothrappali: You suck, Wolowitz!
- Howard Wolowitz: What the hell was that?
- Raj Koothrappali: I'm heckling you. It's a beloved baseball tradition.
- Sheldon Cooper: He's right. And considering you're still waiting to be called for a game you played in fifth grade, you probably do suck.
- Leonard Hofstadter: He's practicing.
- Penny: For what?
- Howard Wolowitz: The Angels wanted an astronaut to throw out the first pitch, so guess who they called?
- Penny: What, you? Really?
- Howard Wolowitz: Well, a lot of people who weren't available, but then me!
- Sheldon Cooper: Did you enjoy my lecture?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: No, and neither did our waiter.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, but if you're going to serve Cornish game hen, you should either know all about the history of Cornwall, or be prepared to learn it. You can't argue with that.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I know, I saw a poor, sad man trying to and failing.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I could give you a few pointers. I played softball.
- Howard Wolowitz: That would be great.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: And while you're at it, maybe we can work on butching up your run.
- Howard Wolowitz: What's wrong with the way I run?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Oh, nothing.
- [Mimes a girly run as she exits]
- Raj Koothrappali: I like how they put a waterfall on centerfield. It really ties everything together.
- Penny: Look at you talking sports.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: How about this? You stay for the game, I'll buy you some cotton candy and a bobblehead.
- Sheldon Cooper: Bobblehead of whom?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Does it matter?
- Sheldon Cooper: Not as long as it bobbles.
- Sheldon Cooper: Okay, new plan: we go to Disneyland, play hide-and-seek on Tom Sawyer's Island, and come back in time for the end of the pitch.
- Raj Koothrappali: So you never played baseball as a kid, not even Little League?
- Howard Wolowitz: I was going to, but the day of tryouts, I found my dad's Playboy collection. Threw my arm out.
- Mike Massimino: Hey Fruit Loops, what's up?
- Howard Wolowitz: Hey Mike, listen, NASA asked me to throw out the first pitch at an Angels game. You got any advice?
- Mike Massimino: Yeah. Don't do it. What else you up to?
- Howard Wolowitz: Why shouldn't I do it?
- Mike Massimino: There's no upside. If you do well, no one cares. And if you screw up, you're an idiot on YouTube forever.
- Sheldon Cooper: The ranking of relationships in our circle by quality is: me and Amy, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his girlfriend, Penny and Chardonnay, Penny and you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: There isn't any ranking and if there were, we wouldn't be at the bottom.
- Penny: Yeah, and actually I drink Sauvignon Blanc.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That's the part you have a problem with?
- Penny: Relax.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: There they go fighting again. You'd never hear her talk that way to Sauvignon Blanc.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: So, when do you guys plan on getting married?
- Penny: Uh, we're not sure, but I want to wait long enough to prove to my mother I'm not pregnant.