- Amy Farrah Fowler: Can you see how a grown man, an accomplished scientist, who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
- Sheldon Cooper: No.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
- Sheldon Cooper: Great. Wait until you hear about our van.
- Sheldon Cooper: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an an appointment for you to look at them?
- Emily Sweeney: Um, OK. I guess.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes and he's taking his pants off.
- Sheldon Cooper: So, what are some ways we could set our comic book store apart from the competition?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hmm, kids buy comic books. It would be great to figure out a way to get more kids in the store.
- Howard Wolowitz: You know, when I was a kid, I loved going there, but I could never get a ride.
- Raj Koothrappali: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around and picked kids up?
- Sheldon Cooper: Nice! Like at schools and parks.
- Howard Wolowitz: Toy stores, puppet shows.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hold on. So your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
- Raj Koothrappali: We are now!
- Howard Wolowitz: He has my mother buying four-ply now. Four-ply! If his tushy is so delicate, why doesn't he just wipe with an angora rabbit?
- Sheldon Cooper: For starters, they shed and bite.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'd like your honest opinion on something.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Of course.
- Sheldon Cooper: Before I start, I need you to know that I'm very excited about this, and anything you say that isn't enthusiastically supportive will throw our entire relationship into question. So... keep an open mind.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm feeling a little backed into a corner, Sheldon.
- Sheldon Cooper: Perfect.
- Sheldon Cooper: I miss Stuart's place. All this loud music and exposed brick. What, is this a comic book store or a rave at the third little pig's house.
- Raj Koothrappali: It's true. You're both gorgeous. Kind of says something about the man who could bed you both.
- [laughs]
- Raj Koothrappali: You get why I've been alone most of my adult life.
- Penny: How? You can't force somebody to like you.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: What if you just hang around and act like her friend until you wear her down? I mean, next thing you know, you're in her house, you're eating her food and drinking her wine.
- Penny: You told Emily we hooked up?
- Raj Koothrappali: Um, well. In my defense I tell everyone.
- Penny: Why would you say that?
- Raj Koothrappali: We were having a conversation about past lovers.
- Penny: We weren't lovers. Come on. Everybody knows we didn't sleep together. We got drunk and fooled around. Why couldn't you just leave me out of this?
- Penny: Okay, I'm sorry. Did we get off on the wrong foot? Because since like the other night, I kind of feel like you might have a problem with me.
- Emily Sweeney: No, it's fine.
- Penny: Are you sure because it doesn't feel fine.
- Emily Sweeney: Are you sure you want to talk about this? Okay. If you really want to talk about this, I do have a problem.
- Penny: Oh my God. Tell me, what did I do?
- Emily Sweeney: Look it's nothing. It's just... Raj told me a while back you two hooked up.
- Penny: What? Oh why would he say that?
- Emily Sweeney: Did it not happen?
- Penny: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up.
- Emily Sweeney: Did you kiss?
- Penny: Yeah.
- Emily Sweeney: We're you naked?
- Penny: Yeah.
- Emily Sweeney: So it was a hook-up.
- Penny: No.
- [pause]
- Penny: Yeah.
- Penny: OK, good night guys.
- Emily Sweeney: Bye.
- [Both women together]
- Penny, Emily Sweeney: I hate her.
- Howard Wolowitz: I wish Stuart opened his store again. I hate this place too.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [Points to Sheldon] Okay, him I understand, because he's an eighty-year old in a fifteen-year-old's T-shirt. You're just upset about Stuart and your mom and all their HBOs.
- Howard Wolowitz: You're right, I am. You know, I can't even watch Game of Thrones anymore without thinking about my mother asking "Stuart, which one's Thrones?"
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You really went your entire life with out anybody saying "I hate you" to your face?
- Penny: Yeah.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'd say it now, but look at those cheekbones.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Did you hear about this research on gene manipulation that's trying to create some sort of dinosaur-like chicken?
- Sheldon Cooper: I think that sounds wonderful.
- Howard Wolowitz: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and birds.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, but you tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.
- Penny: I hear you're a dermatologist.
- Emily Sweeney: Uh, yeah. I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh I like their emergency room. Even if it turns out you don't have dengue fever, they still let you take home a lollipop.
- Penny: I don't know what Emily's so upset about anyway. Even if I'd slept with him, so what? Everybody has a past.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Um.
- [Clears throat]
- Penny: Almost everybody has a past.
- Penny: Leonard gave me this briefcase. He used to carry it around in high school. You can still see the dent where they whacked him with it.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, if there's anything that really gets my goat it's those daggum insurance companies.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Why, because they won't get off your lawn?
- Sheldon Cooper: I guess that English study was right. One friend down. I wonder who's the next to go?
- Raj Koothrappali: You! You are! It's you!
- Sheldon Cooper: Nah, you love me.